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Greetings, and thanks for joining me for another week. Starting us off are a few news stories you may have missed. First, the Boston Globe reported that sometimes things are not always as they seem. Boston fire inspector Albert Arroyo, on tax-free disability since earlier this year ("totally and permanently disabled," wrote his physician) from an alleged on-the-job injury (when it happened, it was seen by no one), apparently bravely overcame his condition and six weeks later somehow managed to finish eighth in the 2008 Pro Natural American bodybuilding championship. Said his lawyer, James Dilday, time in the gym was actually a way for Arroyo to get his mind off his depression at being forced to take early retirement at age 46. (A Boston Globe investigation found 102 firefighters with mostly questionable job injuries, taking full retirement, with some manipulating paperwork to retire at a higher grade than when they were "injured.")  Those things, unfortunately, are exactly what they seem!

Next, a modest proposal…of sorts. Brand-new Japanese parents receiving a gift are, by tradition, duty-bound to give a lesser one in return, so the Yoshimiya rice shop in Fukuoka recently created the ideal such gift to return: small bags of rice of the exact weight of the newborn, printed with its face and name, so that original gift-givers (relatives, friends) can experience cuddling "the baby." Then, of course, according to Yoshimiya's owner, they can break open the bag and eat the rice, though he admitted some people have a problem with that. Gee, I don’t know why.  Reuters

Finally, the more things change…. A modern update on the oldest excuse in the book. A Barnsley student has the oldest excuse in the book for his poor grades – he says his dog ate his homework. Ben Parker managed only a D in English and an E in history after his Boxer Ruby chewed up a USB memory stick containing thousands of words of coursework. The two-year-old dog destroyed hours of the student's work in the space of 10 minutes, reports the Daily Telegraph. Mr Parker, 26, said: "I was out at the time and when I came home my mum said: 'You know your USB drive? What was on it?' I said 'Everything! Why?' "She hadn't actually digested it, just chewed it to bits. It was up on my window sill in my bedroom so I don't know how she got hold of it. "I was severely annoyed to say the least. I thought about finding a good taxidermist to get her stuffed, but it's hard to stay mad at those puppy dog eyes for long." He took the mangled drive to PC World to see if they could retrieve the lost work, but there was nothing they could do and the drive ended up being thrown away. Mr Parker, who had been travelling around Australia and the USA before he began his two year course, added: "When I told the teachers the dog had eaten my homework they rolled their eyes at me and said it wasn't a valid excuse and they wouldn't give me an extension. I'm staying upbeat and thinking that, in the circumstances, I am just delighted that I passed. I had already forgiven Ruby so I'm not going down that road of being angry at her again. I know she didn't do it on purpose."

A nine-year-old Nepalese girl has been told that she must go to school - despite being a "living goddess." Preeti Shakya was chosen as the living goddess Kumari at the age of three and locked in a palace (uh, does something seem a bit off here?). She was to be worshipped until she grows up, when a new goddess is due to be chosen, reports the Daily Telegraph. But the nine-year-old will now retire at the end of the year after the country's Supreme Court ruled she has the right to go to school. The court's verdict was prompted by a complaint from local lawyers that keeping a young girl cooped up in an ornate but decrepit palace in Kathmandu's medieval quarter was a violation of her rights. The Supreme Court's spokesman, Hemanta Rawal, said: "The court ruled there were no historic or religious documents that state the child should be denied the rights of education, movement etc. She should not be denied these things just because she is the Kumari." The "living goddess" concept may be scrapped entirely now that Nepal is officially a secular republic run by ultra-leftist ex-rebel Maoists keen to do away with the country's "feudal" practices. The people in charge of looking after the Kumari said they took orders from the heavens, not the Supreme Court. They denied that her human rights were violated because, they said, a teacher comes to the palace every day and she is allowed to meet people for three hours a day.

Florida Bay County Sheriff's deputies were forced to use a taser to bring down an escaped emu named Plop-Plop (her cage mate is probably named Fizz-Fizz). The large female bird escaped from a farm last weekend and she holed up with some horses and goats in a pen. When deputies arrived, the emu "went kind of crazy," said Sheriff's deputy Randolph Grob. The deputies didn't want the bird to hurt itself or them, so the used the Taser stun gun to immobilize Plop-Plop (“Get on the ground! Get on the ground!”). The emu was brought to the Bay County Animal Control Center, where she has made a full recovery. The bird's owner is expected to take her home soon. I wonder if video will show up on a Spike show: “When Birds Go Bad” or “Tased and Corn-fed.) (http://www.newsherald.com)

From Yahoo News, I thought the following Bit was about Bush and Cheney pedaling about, but I guess we can’t judge a book by its cover.  Auckland City Council had wanted a court injunction to stop the "Boobs on Bikes" parade last week, saying it went against a bylaw banning offensive public events (offensive to whom?). But Judge Nicola Mathers said while opponents may find the parade offensive or tasteless, the fact that 80,000 people had gathered for a similar event last year meant a significant number of people did not agree with the critics, New Zealand Press Association said. New Zealand court has allowed a parade of topless adult movie stars on motor bikes to ride on the main street of the country's biggest city, local media said. The parade on Queens St., featuring leather-clad local and international porn stars, is part of an "Erotica Expo" organized by self-styled "porn king" Steve Crow.

From my Canadian Correspondent (and friend) known to the civilized world only as “The Ragman,” some most-worthy quotes to ponder: (1) “When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.”  George Bernard Shaw. (1856-1950) (2) “A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.” George Moore. (3) “Weather is a great bluffer. I guess the same is true of our human society - things can look dark, then a break shows in the clouds, and all is changed.” E.B. White (1899-1985)

If you wonder why we as a country (the US) are circling the drain, here are some headlines from ABC’s website’s Top Headlines (I mean, as Top Headlines, one would think they are important, wouldn’t one?): (1) PHOTOS: Gwen and Gavin's Baby Zuma; (2) PHOTOS: Charlize, Mary, Isla Hit the Beach; (3) H'wood Hunks Heat Up Sets; (4) Stars and the Weight Flux; (5) Skimpy but Sporty: When Less is More; (6) Does J. Love's Lb. Loss Make Her a Liar? (7) Miley Cyrus' new Crush - The "Hannah Montana" star is reportedly "boy-crazy" over actor Adam Sevani. (8) Flashy Pop's Out; Mellow Music's In. Yeah, there are others, things that would qualify as real news, but are these what the masses think is important? These are amongst the Top Headlines? Feh!

Finally, that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. A Mendocino County woman who was allegedly trying to kill mice in her trailer with a gun ended up shooting herself and another person. Sheriff's officials say the 43-year-old woman pulled out her .44-caliber Magnum revolver after she saw the mice running across the floor of her trailer, but she accidentally dropped the gun, which went off as it struck the floor. The bullet went through the woman's kneecap, bounced off the keys sitting on the belt loop of a 42-year-old man in the trailer and grazed the man's groin before ending up in his coin pocket. Authorities did not release the shooting victims' names. The mice escaped the shooting unharmed. [The Press Democrat]

Later.