| |
"It's too bad stupidity isn't painful."
Volume 15, Number 33, August 29, 2010
Greetings, and thanks for joining me for another week. Starting us off are a few news stories you may have missed. First, a Treasury Department inspector general reported earlier this summer that, out of 2.6 million applicants for federal mortgage relief, 14,000 "home buyers" wrongly received tax credits and that in fact, 1,300 of them were living in prison at the time of filing, including 241 serving life sentences. Sixty-seven of the 14,000 received tax credits for the same house, and 87 more potentially fraudulent tax-credit applications were filed by Internal Revenue Service employees. So, uh, who is guarding the guardians? It is certainly past time to bring back honor to America (in spite of how some people define honor). (ABC News)
Next, the power of love! First, farmer Dick Kleis of Zwingle, Iowa, in writing out a birthday note to his wife, arranged more than 60 tons of manure in a pasture to spell out "Happy Birthday, Love You" in shorthand (I didn’t know people could still read [let alone write] shorthand). Then, for Valentine's Day, farmer Bruce Andersland created a half-mile-wide, arrow-pierced heart from plowed manure at his farm near the town of Albert Lea, Minn. "Now I've got my valentine!" shouted wife Beth, when she first viewed the aerial image. [WTTG-TV, Albert Lea Tribune)
Finally, how low is too low? A New Orleans woman was jailed for ten days after she went to court in low-riding shorts which revealed her underwear (you say that like it’s a bad thing). Kimberly Senette, 23, had only gone to court to urge her brother Lawrence Senette, 18, to accept a plea deal. But Judge Steve Windhorst was not amused by her revealing outfit and locked her up for contempt of court. Miss Senette was wearing knee-length shorts which revealed her pants and the top of her buttocks, according to a witness (you say that like it’s a bad thing). When Judge Windhorst questioned her appearance, she said she had to remove her belt when going through a security checkpoint at the courtroom entrance. (Times-Picayune)
Why do I frequently call alcohol Liquid Stupid Pills? An Oregon State University offensive lineman (very offensive) has been dismissed from the team after police say they found him naked and intoxicated in a stranger's home and had to use stun guns to take him into custody. Responding to a call, officers ordered 19-year-old Tyler Patrick Thomas of Kalispell, Mont., to get on the ground, Lt. Tim Brewer said. Thomas refused and instead dropped into a three-point stance like a football player and lunged at the officers, Brewer said. At that point, he said, two officers fired their stun guns. Zzzzt! Oooh, too slow off the line.… (Huffington Post)
Okay, maybe alcohol isn’t all bad…. A Polish man living in Germany went about his life for about five years without noticing he had been shot in the head because he was drunk when it happened. Doctors found a .22 caliber bullet in the back of his head after the 35-year-old went to have what he thought was a cyst removed. Presented with the 5.6mm projectile, the man recalled he had received a blow to the head around midnight at a New Year's party "in 2004 or 2005," but had forgotten about it because he said he had been "very drunk.”. (Reuters)
Site recommendation: http://www.refdesk.com. If it’s information you need it, it’s probably there.
Doctor in Argentina have removed what they think is the world's largest malignant tumor from the body of a 54-year-old woman (probably not a record someone wants to set). Weighing a shocking 51 pounds, the tumor had been growing inside the woman's womb for a year-and-a-half and took four hours to remove, The Daily Mail reported. Oscar Lopez, a surgical coordinator, said: "I've never seen anything like it in my 34 years of medical service.” We removed a tumor whose weight is comparable to that of a four-year-old child. "In layman's terms, it was as if this woman had been pregnant with quintuplets." She is said to be recovering well. Tumors of the type removed from the woman usually weigh no more than 6 pounds or so.
Weighing on the NYC mosque controversy. Can they? Yes! Should they? No! That’s all.
GIGO (Garbage in, garbage out). Earlier this year, four NYPD officers, acting on department intelligence, went to the home of Walter and Rose Martin in Brooklyn, N.Y., looking for a suspect, and broke a window as they made their way inside. The Martins, retired and in their 80s, were clean, and a police spokesman later admitted that officers had wrongly visited or raided the Martins' home more than 50 times in the past eight years because of a stubborn computer glitch. When the software was originally installed, an operator tested it by mindlessly typing in a random address, but that happened to be the Martins' house, and so the visits and raids began. The Martins say they have been assured several times that the problem had been corrected, but evidently their address is buried way too deep into the system. Oopsies! [New York Post]
Just heard on a talking-head “news” show that “they” (the bureaucratic suits) have a goal to get the US high school dropout rate to zero and make sure every graduating student is college ready. (How about tossing in making the rest of the world love the US and have peace in the Middle East while you’re at it.)
Cents and nonsense! A businessman who tried to pay a property tax bill with 33,000 pennies got turned down by a county treasurer in Washington state, who said she didn't have the staff to count them. Ron Spears told the Ellensburg Daily Record he rolled buckets of the coins into the Kittitas County treasurer's office to protest the fines he incurred by failing to pay a $34 bill that was due in April. Spears owns Spears Interiors in Cle Elum and also serves on the city council. He says his business is struggling and he didn't have the money at the time (he didn’t have $34?). When Treasurer Deanna Panattoni refused to accept the pennies, Spears agreed to pay in a more conventional manner. (Wuss! He caved! Pennies are legal tender, aren’t they?)
Doctors at a Sri Lankan hospital recently operated for three hours to remove 18 nails and metal particles allegedly hammered into the arms, legs and forehead of a maid by her Saudi employer. A doctor said his surgical team pulled nails ranging from about one to three inches from Lahadapurage Daneris Ariyawathie's body. He said doctors have not yet removed four small metal particles embedded in her muscles. She was allegedly held down by her employer's wife while the employer hammered the heated nails. She apparently had complained to the couple that she was being overworked. (That’s why I never complained at work.) I guess that’ll teach you not to complain! Saudi officials were not immediately available for comment. (CNN)
Not quite as bad, but still pretty bad. The home of a woman filmed picking up a cat and throwing it into a rubbish bin is under police guard in Britain after her actions sparked outrage from animal lovers and even death threats. Mary Bale, 45, said, "I really don't see what everyone is getting so excited about -- it's just a cat. I don't know what came over me, but I suddenly thought it would be funny (yeah, a riot) to put it in the wheelie bin, which was right beside me." The cat's owner had installed security cameras outside his house after vandals damaged his car so consulted the CCTV footage after his tabby Lola went missing for 15 hours and was finally found crying for help inside the bin. On the footage, Mann and his wife saw a middle-aged woman leaning down to stroke Lola in the street -- then picking up the tabby by the scruff of her neck and dumping her into the bin, slamming the lid closed. She ought to be stuffed in a bin! I mean, she’s just another person…. (Reuters)
Finally, you know why there’s such an emphasis on obesity and physical fitness in the US? Because, as the speaker said, there are currently 9 million young people who wouldn’t/couldn’t qualify for the military!
Later.
|
|