Volume 13, Number 7, February 17, 2008

Greetings, and thanks for joining me for another week. Starting us off are a few news stories you may have missed. First, if they can do it, why can’t I? From the New York Times, fully half of the 10 best-selling novels in Japan last were originally composed, and serialized, on cell phones, thumbed out by women who had never written novels, for readers who mostly had never before read one. The genre's dominating plot lines are affairs of the heart, and its characteristics, obviously, are simplicity of plot and character and brevity of expression (lest authors' sore thumbs and readers' tired eyes bring down the industry). Said one successful cell phone writer, her audience doesn't read works by "professional writers" because "their sentences are too difficult to understand."

Next, Kyle Krichbaum, 12, of Adrian, Mich., has had a passion with vacuum cleaners since infancy, when he was fascinated by the whirring, said his mother, and for years, he says, he has enjoyed vacuuming so much that he does the house up to five times a day, with one of the 165 new and used vacuum cleaners in his collection. Said a former teacher, "It's not that he didn't like recess; he just preferred to stay inside vacuuming." Older sister Michelle, interviewed for a last-summer CBS News profile of Kyle, spoke for all of us: "He's constantly vacuuming. I'm just like 'why, why, why, why, why, why?' I don't understand." That from [WCCO-TV Minneapolis]

Finally, from Yahoo News, why it’s good to have lots of money. A license plate with nothing but the number "1" on it recently went for a record $14 million at a charity auction. Saeed Khouri, a member of a wealthy Abu Dhabi family, wouldn't say how many automobiles he owned or which of them might carry the record-breaking single-digit plate. "I bought it because it's the best number," said Khouri, whose family made its fortune in real estate. "I bought it because I want to be the best in the world." The oil-rich UAE began auctioning off vanity license plates last spring. Ordinary automobile license plates issued to drivers here — and even most other vanity series plates — carry both Arabic and Western numerals and script, defining the issuing city and country. Khouri's plate, however, has only the Western numeral and no letters. The record sale surpassed the $6.8 million that was paid for an Emirati license plate at an earlier auction with the Western number 5 on it — also without Arabic numerals or letters. Proceeds from the auctions, which are held in a lavish hotel here, go to a rehabilitation center for victims of traffic accidents. At the most recent auction, some 90 license plates were auctioned off in all, raising a total of $24 million. The previous five such events raised more than $50 million.

From the San Francisco Chronicle, authorities have arrested an inexhaustible 911 cell phone caller who is believed to have made more than 27,000 emergency calls, overwhelming California Highway Patrol and Hayward 911 systems. The 911 calls started flooding in last May. The caller responded to emergency operators with bodily noises, muttering and pressing beep tones. John Triplette was arrested that past week for investigation of abusing the 911 emergency line, a misdemeanor. Hayward officials say the 45-year-old man "completely overwhelmed our system" and delayed helping others with real emergencies. The CHP communication center in Vallejo started getting bogus 911 calls last May, and then the Hayward center began getting the calls last month.

MyWay News carried this next Bit about someone who takes her job quite seriously (an example of the letter of the law vs. the spirit of the law). A driver who apparently took her work rules very seriously abandoned a bus full of former prisoners along a highway because her hours for the day were over, police said. The 40 passengers had been paroled or released from the state prison in Huntsville. Some wore ankle bracelet monitors. They were aboard a charter bus that was headed to a terminal in Dallas but wound up 60 miles short. "In 31 years in law enforcement I've never seen anything like this," Corsicana Police Sgt. Lamoin Lawhon said. Police said the bus was chartered from Greyhound Bus Lines Inc. The driver pulled over in front of a convenience store around 4 p.m. and told the passengers her allotted driving time was up and another driver was on the way. A clerk in the convenience store called police. Officers arrived to find the former prisoners milling around the bus. Dispatchers exchanged several phone calls with Greyhound and prison officials while Lawhon and two other officers stayed with the bus and the passengers. Just before 7 p.m., a second bus arrived with three drivers - including the one who had abandoned her passengers in the first place, Lawhon said. Greyhound spokesman Dustin Clark said company officials were investigating the incident. "It is a very serious matter," he said. Clark said drivers have to follow strict guidelines on consecutive working hours and rest periods. Police said there were no incidents involving the passengers while they were stranded.

A man faces assault charges after allegedly spraying bar patrons twice with bear spray. Kodiak police charged Daniel Pement after the incidents last weekend at the B&B Bar. Police said Pement was escorted from the bar last Saturday, but returned 15 minutes later and allegedly sprayed customers. Police talked to him later and took the bear spray, but were called away on a more urgent matter. On the next day, police were called to the bar again after Pement allegedly sprayed patrons with another can of bear spray. Police found Pement walking down the street and charged him with six counts of misdemeanor assault. Information (this Bit from the Kodiak Daily Mirror). Uh maybe he thought it was Bare Spray?

Ask and you shall receive – at least in Lenawee County Circuit Court. A man who pleaded guilty to unarmed robbery faced no more than a year in the county jail but asked to be sent to prison instead to help his chances of rehabilitation. Michael Thomas Isaacson got what he wanted when a judge sentenced him to 17 months to 15 years in state prison, with a recommendation for a psychological evaluation and counseling. Isaacson told Judge Timothy P. Pickard he believes programs available in state prisons will help him "get back on my feet," while a year in the county jail would leave his situation the same as when he was arrested. Isaacson was caught minutes after robbing a movie theater employee, who was carrying a bank deposit bag. Isaacson said he had no gun during the robbery. Defense lawyer Robert Jameson said Isaacson does not understand why he committed the robbery. "He chose the cinema because he used to work at the cinema. He knows the victim. He perceived it as a low-risk crime," Jameson said. (From Topix.com)

Sometimes you win, sometimes others win.) Shirts and caps proclaiming the victory of the New England Patriots -- when the American football team actually lost the latest Super Bowl -- have ended up in the hands of poor Nicaraguan children. Hundreds of shirts and caps, which had been manufactured in advance to celebrate the Patriots' expected victory over the New York Giants, were handed over to children in the southern city of Diriamba. "The children are the winners," said Miriam Diaz, of World Vision, a Christian humanitarian organization. World Vision has links with the National Football League, or NFL, and every year helps out poor children in Latin America and Africa with the unwanted "winners" shirts of the team that actually loses the Super Bowl. Winners' shirts and other garments are produced in advance so players and fans can put them on to celebrate immediately after the final whistle of the game. Garments of the losing team are obviously unwanted. The Giants stunned the previously undefeated Patriots 17-14 in this year's Super Bowl. (Reuters)

Finally, some laws you already know about but probably didn’t know had names. (1) Murphy's Fifth Law: If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway. (2) Honoré de Balzac's Conclusion: There is only one giant machine operated by pygmies, and that is a bureaucracy. (3) Van Roy's Truism: If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice. (4) Ralph's Observation: It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize you are in a hurry. (5) Meade's Maxim: Always remember that you are absolutely unique. just like everyone else. Bonus: Charles de Gaulle's Postulate: The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

Later.