Volume 13, Number 2, January 13, 2008

(Before beginning this week’s column, I offer a few personal thoughts. If you don’t want personal thoughts, drop down to the actual column, which begins somewhere below in red type.

It is the best example of the word bittersweet – the first-in-the-nation New Hampshire primary has come and gone. Although I have voted in virtually every election I could, for the first time in a long time, I was really excited about an election. I actually got involved because there was a great candidate who came close to my views, and I liked him – New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson, the man with the most real experience! I want the war ended sooner rather than later as stated by Richardson – months, not years - [62 percent say the war isn’t worth the cost, but my guy got 5 percent]; I want to see No Child Left Behind scrapped – he said he’d scrap it [63 percent want the law changed or scrapped, but my guy got 5 percent]; I believe in the Second Amendment! Richardson was endorsed by the NRA! [There were numerous other issues, but those were among the more important to me.] I talked up my candidate, I made a donation, I attended a headquarters opening and other functions, I marched in a parade carrying a sign, I put signs in my yard and a bumper sticker on my car, and after I voted, I stood in the cold [150 feet away from the polling place] for hours holding up a sign. For what seems like forever, my post office box had been stuffed with daily ads for candidates, and my phone seemed to ring and ring with surveys, tape recordings, and on and on it went… until it all abruptly stopped, picked up in the night, snuck out, and moved on to the next battleground. Unfortunately, my guy didn’t have enough money, misleading ads, or star power, which seems to be what’s important to the masses. Not sour grapes but disappointment. My guy said to look hard at the other remaining candidates; I suspect I’ll have to look really hard [in spite of their promises, most are a bunch of agents of NO CHANGE], but you know what? Nothing I say or do will matter until next November. Big sigh.

There was such a big deal made about the polls being wrong! So? If they are so right, why have voting at all? Let the polls determine the winners. Isn’t that what we do pretty much anyhow?)

Greetings, and thanks for joining me for another week. Starting us off are a few news stories you may have missed. First, no one ever went broke underestimating (or over estimating, I guess) the taste of the American people. From the Denver Post, riding the wave. Evangelical Christians, among all people of faith, seem most eager to purchase products that reinforce their religious values, according to a marketer cited in a Denver Post report last month, with the result a plethora of Jesus-themed products such as Jesus riding a bull, surfing and playing soccer, Jesus air-fresheners and Grapes of Galilee wine. (Among the tackier products, according to an earlier report in London's Daily Telegraph, are "thongs of praise" underwear with an image of the Madonna and child, and a template to place on a bread slice in an oven to create toast with the Virgin Mary's likeness.) Are these the same people who see images in pieces of toast? No offense meant, by the way.

Next, placing blame where it really belongs! St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Josh Hancock was killed in an April car crash after he collided with a stopped tow truck on Interstate 64 in the middle of the night. According to a police report, Hancock was intoxicated, speeding, un-seat-belted, and talking on his cell phone at the time. Nonetheless, within a month, Hancock's father filed a lawsuit claiming that the causes of the crash were (1) the tow truck operator, (2) the driver who was being assisted by the tow truck operator, and (3) the manager of the restaurant in which Hancock had been drinking. [Houston Chronicle]

Finally, speaking about lawsuits, all of the following have been banned somewhere throughout the US: sledding, tubing, skiing, snowboarding, any and all related snow activities, tag, touch football, soccer, dodge ball, diving boards, see saws and merry-go-rounds, and creek swimming. Most of which are considered too dangerous. Interestingly, back in the day when I was in high school, we had a rifle team!

There are many Darwin lists being e-mailed around, but they all seem to be the same list from years ago. That said, here are four runners-up allegedly from this past year: (1) An East German man electrocuted himself when he tried to get rid of moles by pounding metal rods into the ground and connecting them to a high-voltage power line. (2) A West Virginia man was crushed while dismantling a rundown barn. He fired up his chainsaw and ripped through a crucial support post, bringing down the whole structure on himself. (3) An Illinois man won a game of chicken to see who could stay on a railway line the longest in the path of an oncoming train (d-uh!). And (4) a 29-year-old computer tutor was killed in California while driving and working on his laptop at the same time. He was killed by oncoming traffic. (BTW, I deemed the alleged first-place winner not appropriate for inclusion here.)

In Iowa, oops! From My Way News, a truck driver was cited after a load of chicken manure spilled out of his semi, covering a road for more than a mile in rural Cerro Gordo County. "The end gate failed on the semi and that's what caused it," sheriff's Deputy Frank Hodak said of the spill, which happened on a two-lane road. Hodak said the driver, Jay Daniel McDonough, 33, of Nora Springs, didn't realize there was a problem. "No, not for 1 1/2 miles. I think he went to turn on a different road and saw it," Hodak said. The deputy said he had "no clue" how much manure spilled, but it was a lot. "The whole southbound lane of the road was completely blocked. It was probably about 3 inches deep," Hodak said. Heavy equipment, including a skidloader and endloader, was brought in to clean up the mess. The county then dumped sand on the road. Clean up took about 2 hours.

From the AP, boys will be boys. Apparently trying to bolster their image, several members of a high school swim team were suspended after they impaled 15 car antennas with fetal pigs and smeared crawfish on hoods and windshields in their rival school's parking lot, according to their coach. Roosevelt High School swim coach Steve Teter said members of his team retaliated after Dowling Catholic High School swimmers lobbed snowballs at them at an earlier meet (maybe more in the line of what we picture swimmers as doing). "You could smell the formaldehyde from a block away," Dowling Assistant Principal Ron Meyers said. The pigs likely were stolen from a biology lab. Roosevelt Principal Kathie Danielson said pig fetuses aren't labeled and the school doesn't keep inventory, so science teachers "can't be sure" they came from Roosevelt. "We certainly don't want issues with schools. We want good relationships," Danielson said. Meyers said Dowling officials "have faith the parents will deal with their kids appropriately, and the school will, too." Teter said several members of his team have been suspended from their next meet. Oooh! That’s pretty brutal.

Another ooops! Or Do as I say, not as I do! Attendees at a United Nations climate conference in Bali. Indonesia, were distressed when they noticed that a temporary air conditioning system set up to keep the 10,000 delegates cool not only used ozone-destroying CFCs, but the system, which used plastic pipes, was noticeably leaking. They counted 700 cylinders containing enough of the refrigerant gas to cause as much damage to the atmosphere as 48,000 tons of carbon dioxide -- "nearly the equivalent of the emissions of all [the] aircraft used to fly delegates to Indonesia." (Sydney Morning Herald)
Finally, a few points for your consideration: (1) “Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking.” (2) “Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.” Jimi Hendrix. (3) “My father used to say, you would worry less about what people think if you knew how little they did.” Dr. Phil McGraw. (4) “A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.” (5) “The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” Steven Wright. (5) “In the eyes of a child you will see...the world as it should be.” (6) “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” John Wooden.

Later.