Volume 13, Number 18, May 4, 2008

(As regular readers know, I sometimes include some personal comments before the actual column begins. I won’t be doing that anymore [for the most part] as many of those comments have a new outlet and will now show up in a new blog I recently started. Check it out at: http://jpdave.blogspot.com/ and feel free to join the crowds and leave a comment - already one has poured in! The first couple of entries were to just get my feet wet, but recent offering seems to be more enjoyable and come close what a blog should be [and are reminiscent of the old Berman’s Bits from years ago, if you know what I mean]. Please take a look and see what’s happening.)

Greetings, and thanks for joining me for another week. Starting us off are a few news stories you may have missed. First, the nerve of some people! Jerome Kerviel told reporters last month that he is planning to sue Societe Generale bank in Paris for unfair dismissal. You may remember he is the "rogue" trader the bank says cost it the equivalent of about $7.5 billion by making risky, unauthorized deals that came to light at the start of this year and for which he is under indictment for fraud. Kerviel pointed to an independent investigator's conclusion that SocGen management had ignored 75 warning signs about Kerviel's trades and continued to support him, but SocGen said Kerviel doctored paperwork to disguise trades. [The Times (London)]

Next, something to be proud of…. Medical student Wes Pemberton was scheduled to be officially measured in Tyler, Texas, for a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records. He told KLTV that he has a leg hair 5.0 inches long, surpassing the current record of 4.88 inches. Pemberton said that his prize hair is growing amidst other normal-length hair, and that he has been treating it with conditioner to keep it strong for the measuring. [KLTV - Texas)]

Finally, I remember when the US always wanted to be the biggest and best. From Ananova, another record. A Chinese company is printing what is believed to be the world's biggest photograph for Mother's Day. The Chongqing city-based firm says the portrait of a mum's smiling face will be bigger than a football pitch at 9,000 sq meters. The project is costing more than £70,000 - and it took three months to find the right woman to pose for the photo. Director Mr Li, who has already lodged a bid to get into Chinese record books, said: "We wanted to find the perfect mother's smile in this city." The Chongqing Changhong Printing Company, which says it is their biggest ever order, is working round the clock to finish the picture in time for May 11 when Mother's Day is celebrated in China. "Usually we only stock two tons of inkjet paper, but this deal needs 4.4 tons, so we had to buy extra," company manager Mr Shen said. It is much too big to print in one piece so the picture is being printed on rolls of paper which will be put together to make up the giant portrait. "The printer has been working around the clock for the last 20 days and we still have ten to go," added Mr Shen. A good use of time and resources, I do say.

The PC police at work (or is it the PO police). In my Big Crimes Dept., a postman had to be escorted home by police after he turned up for work wearing the wrong shorts. The employee at Royal Mail's sorting office in Northampton, was wearing navy blue shorts without the Royal Mail's logo when he arrived at work. After being challenged about the breach of regulation uniform there was an argument, with the member of staff refusing to go home and change his shorts. His managers called the police to escort him off the premises, reports the Northampton Chronicle and Echo. Lee Barron, regional Communication Workers Union (CWU) secretary, said: "An individual employee had a pair of shorts on which were not Royal Mail issue. He was challenged and asked to go home and get changed. He refused, so, in what can only be described as a massive over-reaction, Royal Mail called the police and had him escorted off the premises." A spokesman for Northamptonshire Police confirmed officers were called to the sorting office to deal with a staff matter. He said: "It was an internal matter, whereby a member of staff was being disruptive and the management was concerned because of his behavior. We took him home, back to his address, because he was refusing to leave the premises." A spokeswoman for Royal Mail said: "It is an internal matter and it is being dealt with."

Steve Kreuscher wants a judge to allow him to legally change his name. He wants to be known as "In God We Trust." Kreuscher (CROY'-shir) says the new name would symbolize the help God gave him through tough times. The 57-year-old man also told the (Arlington Heights) Daily Herald he's worried that atheists may succeed in removing the phrase "In God We Trust" from U.S. currency. He recalls that the phrase "God Reigns" was removed from the Zion city seal in 1992 after courts deemed it unconstitutional. Zion was founded as a theocracy — by a sect that believed the Earth was flat. The school bus driver and amateur artist in the northern Chicago suburb says he has filed a petition to change his name in Lake County Circuit Court. (His friends can call him “In” for short….)

Breaking through the stereotypes…. He's known as Vinny Gorgeous, but convicted mob boss Vincent Basciano might want to trade up to Vinny Photogenic or Vinny Pulchritudinous. Some of his letters from federal prison, which are being intercepted and scrutinized by authorities, are full of such words as "thespian," "flippant" and "sagacious," his lawyer said. It’s no code - Basciano wants the recipient — his 7-year-old son — to learn. "He wants the kid to go to college and be a success," Savitt said, claiming his client's fatherly aims are being frustrated by authorities' slow pace in reviewing the letters. Basciano "enjoys using $10 words and uses them correctly, I might add," his attorney said. Basciano, 48, is serving a life sentence for the 2001 killing of a Mafia rival. Authorities say Basciano became the acting leader of the Bonanno organized crime family after the arrest of Joseph Massino, who is serving a life sentence for murder, racketeering and other crimes. Yahoo’s Strange News.

He’s everywhere; He’s everywhere! When an Ohio woman looked at an ultrasound she expected to see a developing fetus. Instead, she saw what she believes to be an image of Jesus Christ, MyFox Cleveland reported on its Web site. Monet Sledge, from Lorain, Ohio, got an ultrasound in preparation for her first baby and was shocked when she saw what appeared to be an image of Christ on the Cross. She showed the image to her sister, a mother of four, to get her opinion. "I was expecting to see little body parts," Sledge's sister Tequoia Smith told MyFox Cleveland. "Like a face, arms and legs." But she too believes saw Jesus on the cross. "As soon as I saw it I was like oh, my gosh." "People say maybe my baby is gonna be blessed and maybe it is a good sign," said mother-to-be Sledge. "I don't know, I've done wrong in my life, maybe he's forgiven me early." Doctors say the baby is perfectly healthy and due Aug. 12.
Finally, looking for something to celebrate? Try these on for size: (1) May 5 is National Hoagie Day (or sub, big boy, hero, etc.). (2) May 6 is Beverage Day. (3) May 7 is International Tuba Day. (4) May 9 is Lost Sock Memorial Day. (5) Sorry about this last one - May 10 is Clean Up Your Room Day.

Later.