Volume 13, Number 16, April 20, 2008

(As regular readers know, I sometimes include some personal comments before the actual column begins. I won’t be doing that anymore [for the most part] as many of those comments have a new outlet and will now show up in a new blog I recently started. Check it out at: http://jpdave.blogspot.com/ and feel free to join the crowds and leave a comment - already one has poured in! The first couple of entries were to just get my feet wet, but recent offering seems to be more enjoyable and come close what a blog should be [and are reminiscent of the old Berman’s Bits from years ago, if you know what I mean]. Please take a look and see what’s happening.)

Greetings, and thanks for joining me for another week. Starting us off are a few news stories you may have missed. First, no wonder they call it Leap Year…. Orlando "public artist" Brian Feldman celebrated Feb. 29 (Leap Day) by devoting himself to "leaping," from a report on WOFL-TV. For the entire 24 hours, beginning at midnight, Feldman leaped off a 12-foot-high platform every three minutes and 56 seconds (a total of 366 times). Said Feldman, "I thought it would be a good idea to get people to think how they spend their day." (Maybe he ought to think about how he spends his.)

Next, No Child Left Behind…. Maritza Tamayo, principal of New York City's Unity Center for Urban Technologies high school, was fired this past summer following revelations that she was so concerned about the unruly behavior of some students that she brought in a Santeria priestess to cleanse the building of evil spirits. The students were on holiday break, but workers found chicken blood sprinkled around the building, and Tamayo and two other women in white dresses were seen, chanting, with one balancing a silver tray on her head, holding 40 lit candles. (Was it Harry Chapin who sand, “There’s muggers and there’s jugglers, and we are led by clowns”? It starts in the White House and trickles down….) [New York Post]

Finally, with Stupid Pills, anything’s possible…. A Russian electrician spent a night with a ten-inch kitchen knife in his back found out about it when he got home and his wife saw it. A drinking pal of Yuri Laylin, 53, plunged the knife into his back after playing a variation on Russian roulette during a night of drinking. In the game, a blindfolded pal was given a knife and made random stabbing motions as his pals danced around him after drinking large amounts of vodka. Yuri said he had no idea his pal had actually stabbed him and did not feel any pain when he went home. He said: "We had a few vodkas and I remember playing some silly games and someone had a large knife. I came home, went to sleep as usual and woke up when my wife started screaming. Only then did I realize what had happened." Doctors who treated him said the knife had gone four inches into his back but had missed vital organs. It was removed and Yuri was sent home soon after. One of the doctors who treated him said: "The alcohol he drank must have acted as an anesthetic; otherwise he would have been in great pain." His alleged attacker reported the crime to the police himself. Yuri meanwhile apparently feels fine and bears no ill-will. (Is he sure he remembers what happened?)

Speaking of Stupid Pills, let us observe a moment of silence. What was intended as a car stunt for the YouTube video-sharing Web site horribly backfired for two Peoria teens. A 16-year-old boy, the driver of a 2002 Mitsubishi Eclipse, wanted to get a video shot with all four wheels of the vehicle off the roadway (I still maintain cars and kids don’t mix). However, people in a following car, who were supposed to capture the stunt on a cellphone camera, got so scared by the speed, estimated at 70 to 85 mph, that they failed to shoot the video. He said the boy lost control of the Eclipse as it roared north on 91st Avenue through the intersection. The teen was ejected when the Eclipse went off the road, struck several trees and rolled. The boy remained in a Valley hospital with life-threatening injuries. A 17-year-old female passenger escaped with injuries that were not life-threatening. Authorities have grown increasingly concerned about people filming outrageous stunts and then posting them online to bask in the sudden fame. This crash, which remains under investigation, serves as a reminder that parents should sit down with their teens and offer warnings about the serious consequences that can result from shooting YouTube stunts. "In this case, the two injured teens are very lucky to be alive," he said. (I think talking to some teens is like talking to my cat!)

Even more Stupid Pills, but…. From My Way news - five Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University students are in the slammer for trying to steal a baby alligator from a miniature golf course in Daytona Beach. Police say the students were booked on a felony charge of attempting to capture an alligator. The students are accused of climbing down into the alligator exhibit at the Congo River Miniature Golf Course with duct tape. The students ran when they were spotted by officers. But the students were eventually caught. Bond was set at $1,000. The students are both freshmen and sophomores at the university. The manager of the golf course says surveillance tapes will be turned over to police. That must be quite the mini golf course!

From an AP story, National Fuel Gas Distribution Corp. crews have been busy with a smelly problem in nearly 1,000 Erie-area homes. The gas company says too much mercaptan was added to natural gas, prompting hundreds of calls from residents concerned about gas leaks. Mercaptan is a substance added so people can "smell" natural gas, which is actually odorless and colorless in its natural state. The utility started getting calls and complaints. By law, the company had to send crews to each home to make sure the problem was just too much mercaptan and not an actual gas leak. NFG officials say crews did find small leaks at a few homes but, in most cases, the extra mercaptan was to blame for the smell. (That reminds me of an old joke: A man walks into a doctor’s office. He says, "Doctor, I'm suffering from silent gas emissions.... All day at work, I have these silent gas emissions. Last night during a movie, I had 10 silent gas emissions. This morning in the car on the way to your office, I had five silent gas emissions. And while waiting in your waiting room I had three silent gas emissions. Right now, as a matter of fact, I've just had two more." The doctor replied, "Well, the first thing we're going to do is to check your hearing!")

Finally, a Bit with which I can identify: A bald high school teacher has lost a court case because the judge ruled that his lack of hair was not a disability - despite his pleas to the contrary. The former art teacher, who said he was discriminated by students because of his baldness, had taken a Scottish local council to an employment tribunal because he felt he was a victim of disability discrimination. UK newspaper The Independent reported that the 61-year-old claimed he would avoid walking along the corridors at Denny High School while students were gathered so he would not be called “baldy”. “How can I stand in front of a class with confidence to get on with my job when I am getting teased and bullied about baldness?” the teacher said. He also claimed that since his retirement in 2007, former students would shout out “baldy” if they crossed paths in the street. But tribunal judge Robert Gall ruled that being bald was not covered by the Disability Discrimination Act. “This would take the definition of impairment too far,” Mr Gall said. “If baldness was to be regarded as an impairment then perhaps... a big nose (or) big ears might be regarded as an impairment.” Well...?

Later.