Volume 13, Number 14, April 6, 2008

(As regular readers know, I sometimes include some personal comments before the actual column begins. I won’t be doing that anymore [for the most part] as many of those comments have a new outlet and will now show up in a new blog I recently started. Check it out at: http://jpdave.blogspot.com/ and feel free to join the crowds and leave a comment - already one has poured in! The first couple of entries were to just get my feet wet, but recent offering seems to be more enjoyable and come close what a blog should be [and are reminiscent of the old Berman’s Bits from years ago, if you know what I mean]. Please take a look and see what’s happening.)

Greetings, and thanks for joining me for another week. First, lights, camera, action! At a casting call last month in Pittsburgh for the movie "Shelter" (which will star Julianne Moore), producers announced they were looking for extras to play West Virginia mountain people from the “hollers” (Pittsburgh is about 40 miles from the state line). in particular, casting people were seeking an albino woman, extraordinarily tall or short people, those with unusual body shapes and faces (especially eyes), and "a 9- to-12-year-old Caucasian girl with an other-worldly look. 'Regular-looking' children should not attend." [Pittsburgh Tribune-Review]

Next, a positive Bit about man (and women’s) best friend! Ferruccio Pilenga recently turned out another class of graduates at his Italian Dog Rescue School, which he says is the only one in the world that trains canines (mostly Newfoundlands, with some Labradors) to jump out of helicopters into rough waters for rescues at sea. Pilenga told London's Independent that it takes about three (human) years to teach them, and that they are of the most use in treacherous waters near rocks, where a rescue boat would be shredded, but his dogs, on long leashes, can fight through flailing arms and get the victim to hold on while the dog is dragged to the rescue vessel.

Finally, from Reuters, people with money or thongs for the memories! A diamond thong worth $122,000 was the highlight of a lingerie fashion show in Singapore. The Triumph Luxurious Diamond Thong had 518 brilliant-cut diamonds, totaling 30 carats, studded into the front of a black lace thong in a floral pattern. The skimpy underwear that left little to the imagination (is that redundant?) also had 27 white gold tassels hanging off it. Danielle Luminita, a brunette model from Romania, wearing only the diamond thong was carried down the runway on the shoulders of two male models. "It is very comfortable, it's not heavy or scratchy or anything," Luminita said. A spokeswoman for Triumph International, the lingerie company that commissioned the thong, said that the thong would be dry cleaned before going on display. "It's a signature piece, obviously we aren't going to sell it," she said.

There’s nothing special about this mainstream story… except for one thing. Yahoo News reported that Georgia (US) students brought a broken steak knife, handcuffs and electrical tape to school in a plot to injure their teacher. Teachers at Center Elementary School in Waycross, Georgia, uncovered the plot when a pupil reported that a child had brought a weapon into the school. "The plan was to handcuff the teacher, put tape over her mouth and hit her over the head with the paperweight and possibly cut her," said Lt. Duane Caswell of Waycross police, adding that some students said the knife was simply there to cut the tape. "It was a rather elaborate scheme," he said. The students spent a week planning the attack and planned to carry it out on the day they were caught, Caswell said. Nine pupils were alleged to be part of the plot and have been disciplined and some were given long-term suspensions. Caswell said police were also planning to charge three of the children in the juvenile court system with conspiracy to commit aggravated assault and possession of a weapon on a school property. Oh, yeah, the reason this appears here is the students were all in the third grade!

My Way News carried a Bit that lends itself to many jokes from which I will refrain writing. Police are searching for a man accused of shoving an electric guitar in his pants and walking out of a store in Lewiston, Maine. Police say the theft occurred last week and they're looking for three men. One of the men shoved a Fender Stratocaster in his pants and pulled a sweatshirt over the top. The other two acted as lookouts. All three can be seen on footage from video surveillance. Strangely enough, the music shop has seen the method before. A man did the same thing in 2006 but was caught as he tried to walk out.
Reuters carried a Bit I can unfortunately identify with. A German man was such an avid collector of weapons and other paraphernalia that he ran out of space at home and had to sleep in a hotel. Following the 71-year-old man’s passing, executors found an arsenal of weaponry and assorted goods at the man's two-story home in the western city of Aachen. A police spokesman said, "There were 71 guns -- one for each year of his life. He also had 41 cases of ammunition and five walking sticks fitted with retractable blades." Neighbors related how the man, who lived alone, collected everything from clothing to garden tools and watches. "The house was stuffed to the rafters.” By the end, neighbors said he had to sleep in a hotel sometimes because there was no more room." One neighbor sometimes handled up to 14 deliveries of goods a day for the man when he was out, he added. "At some point she got fed up with it." No heirs have yet been found for the man, police said.

A few observations of note: (1) April 7 is No Housework Day (I thought that was every day). (2) April 11 is Eight-Track Tape Day (a lot of celebrants, I am sure). (3) April 12 is Look Up At The Sky Day.

From Ananova: Yes, but is it (really) art? On the sides of buildings, Shanghai artist Liu Jin put up four mannequins with wings on their backs for a work of art work entitled “Wounded Angels.” But passers-by mistook them for real people perilously clinging to the buildings. One grandmother reportedly required hospital treatment after the shock led to a heart attack. Police say they received several calls about reports of people hanging from buildings and looking like they were preparing to jump. "When we got there with the firefighters, we found they were just mannequins," a spokesman said. Security officers at one building moved the mannequin from the south wall to the north, after neighbors complained.

Finally, April Fools! Also from Ananova, a US lawyer placed an obituary notice about his friend as an April Fools' Day joke. After some thought, he has finally admitted it was an "immature mistake". Peter Segall, a public relations executive and lawyer, placed the notice about former US ambassador Edward Gabriel in the Washington Post. The gushing tribute appeared with a photograph of Mr. Gabriel who was US ambassador to Morocco from 1997 to 2001. "Though I no longer have you as my partner, this day will always be OUR anniversary... I could never quit you," the ad read. Mr. Segall, who has since paid for a retraction in the newspaper, described himself as a mature man who made an immature mistake. "I engaged in a very stupid and ultimately cruel April Fools' joke against a man that has been my best friend for 30 years, and I deeply, deeply regret it.” One woman told him she spent two hours crying after seeing the ad. "He's an old friend who plays jokes on me every year, and some are hilarious, but they've been private," he said. "He's a good friend who went a little too far. He's apologized profusely, and I've accepted it, but not without being a little hurt. I think - I know - he had no ill intent." Sigh.

Later.