Volume 13, Number 12, March 23, 2008

(As regular readers know, I sometimes include some personal comments before the actual column begins. I won’t be doing that anymore [for the most part] as many of those comments have a new outlet and will now show up in a new blog I recently started. Check it out at: http://jpdave.blogspot.com/ and feel free to join the crowds and leave a comment - already one has poured in! The first couple of entries were to just get my feet wet, but recent offering seems to be more enjoyable and come close what a blog should be [and are reminiscent of the old Berman’s Bits from years ago, if you know what I mean]. Please take a look and see what’s happening.)

Greetings, and thanks for joining me for another week. Starting us off are a few news stories you may have missed. First, according to the Daily Telegraph the “experts” strike again. They tell us education is so important (it is), but their words speak louder than their actions. The British minister of state for schools and learners said classes as large as 70 students are "perfectly acceptable." Schools Minister Jim Knight said large classes are effective when as many as four certified adults are present to assist the main teacher. Knight stressed that increasing the number of teachers in large class rooms would improve learning. "In the case I was discussing, four teachers taught a class of 70 offering more, not less, individual attention," Knight said. Some conservatives reportedly cited concerns that bigger classes could prevent teachers from heightening specialized expectations for poor and advanced students. "The government cannot simultaneously say it is going to deliver personalized learning and then support class sizes at the level Jim Knight is talking about," Michael Gove, shadow children's secretary said. (Of course, I have to wonder what the difference is between four teachers with 70 students and one teacher with 18.)

Next, speaking of educational wisdom, the AP carried the following Bit of interest. Contraband candy got an eighth-grade honors student in Connecticut in some deep doo-doo. Michael Sheridan was stripped of his title as class vice president, barred from attending an honors student dinner and suspended for a day after buying a bag of Skittles from a classmate (oooh!). School spokeswoman Catherine Sullivan-DeCarlo said the New Haven school system banned candy sales in 2003 as part of a districtwide school wellness policy (prohibition just drives such sales underground). Michael's suspension was reduced from three days to one, but he has not been reinstated as class vice president. Superintendent Reginald Mayo said the principal was just trying to keep students safe (from what?), but he would review the decision to suspend Michael, who says he didn't realize his candy purchase was against the rules, but he did notice the student selling the Skittles was being secretive (after all, aren’t Skittles considered a gateway candy? (Update – after the publicity generated from coverage, the school did give him his student council post back.)

Finally, oops! A British cash machine became a big hit this week after it started paying out twice as much money as it should. The ATM, outside a supermarket in the city of Hull in northern England, recently began spewing out double the money and continued doing so for several hours, drawing a crowd of hundreds eager to cash in on the mistake. Those requesting the maximum daily withdrawal of 300 pounds ($600) were being given 600 pounds and a receipt for 300. "People were calling their mates up and telling them to get down there," according to the Hull Daily Mail. After several hours the machine finally ran out of money. Payzone, a company that administers ATMs, would not comment in detail on the incident but said it appeared one of its machines had malfunctioned (gee, ya think?). Police said those who had benefited could face charges but only if the operator complained.

Keeping up with the Singhs. Members of India's middle class are becoming obsessed with "brands"; they are becoming fanatical about luxury labels like Prada and Louis Vuitton, according to the Washington Post. Even though more than half the country lives in "abject poverty" (and even though Gandhi got along fine with just a loincloth!), it doesn’t seem to matter. Said one super-consumer, "I'll spend my whole salary for a really swank brand and eat (steamed rice cakes) for the rest of the month." According to the newly launched India edition of Vogue, the country's "Me Culture" has taken over; on an Ahmadabad road underneath towering billboards for Tag Heuer and Mont Blanc pens, barefoot kids with begging bowls tap on car windows. Though animal rights activists estimate that the country has more uncared-for dogs on the streets than any other in the world, Gucci dog bowls are for sale in New Delhi. Ain’t money great?

Hmmm, I wonder what it would be like to live in Sweden…. Sweden's English-language Internet news site, The Local, reported in that a couple in Kinda Municipality had just been denied generous welfare benefits because they object to the government's work requirements. The husband wanted the payments even though, he wrote, "Conventional work is out of the question for me, both in terms of my conscience and on an intellectual level, as it seems objectionable with regard to both my personal well-being and the well-being of society as a whole. Emotionally, too, (conventional work) creates unbearable pain and dejection." Poor baby.

Awww, well, at least, it probably costs less than cloning. Presented pretty much as presented: Ananova reported that a Newcastle couple keeps the memory of their beloved dogs alive - after they turning their pets’ hair into woolly jumpers. Brian and Beth Willis had his and hers jumpers knitted out of the hair molted by the pedigree pets and spun into yarn. The first jumper was knitted by 71-year-old Mrs Willis from hair from Kara, the couple's white Samoyed, a Russian breed. Mrs Willis said: "It is not actually a hair but a wool, which is why it is so good for clothes. It would just fall off the dogs and I would run a wet hand over the carpet and pick it up. "We found out from the breeders we got the pups from that it was possible to use their coat for clothes. Apparently it is quite popular with lots of the people who breed long-haired dogs." That first jumper was made in 1990, while Kara was still alive. Although she died 12 years ago, the jumper made from her hair is still going strong. By the time the Newcastle couple's next dog, a Swedish Lapphund called Penny, died six years ago, Mrs Willis was already working on a new garment. Mr Willis, 73, wears his doggy jumper every Saturday into town to do the weekly shop. He said: "They are extremely warm and pretty much waterproof. Unless it is banging it down, it is fine. I've always got a sweat on by the time I get from the bus to the shops." Mr and Mrs Willis send the hair to be spun by Malise Mcguire at her home in Derby. She has been spinning dog wool since 1977.

I heard the following Bit on NPR and thought, Hmmm, something smells here. A French wine maker has just insured his nose for the equivalent of $8 million, the Lloyd's of London insurance market said. The made to order policy was created for Ilja Gort, the Dutch owner of Chateau de la Garde in Bordeaux, to cover the loss of his nose and sense of smell. Mr Gort, who produces Tulipe Wines, said his nose was his most important asset. While the tongue has only five areas of taste, the nose can distinguish millions of different scents, he added. "This certainly is an insurance policy not to be sniffed at," said Jonathan Thomas, lead underwriter at Watkins Syndicate who co-insured the policy with Allianz Nederland. "The nose and sense of smell of a winemaker are as important as the fingers of a chef." Lloyd's, by the way, is famous for creating policies for giant corporations but also for insuring celebrity limbs, from Fred Astaire's legs to the hands of Rolling Stones' Keith Richards.

Finally, a few, uh, most important days of which you should be aware. (1) March 22 is National Goof-off Day, but because tomorrow is Easter, and I will be busy entertaining, I am writing this today (the 22nd), but maybe I can sneak in a goof off tomorrow instead (if you understood that last part, you are doing better than I am). Rats! Another holiday I am unable to celebrate. (2) Fortunately, tomorrow is Easter, also the usual March 23rd National Organize Your Home Office Day. I guess I’ll have to wait until next year to celebrate. No, today is National Goof Off Day, so that’s out (too bad). (3) March 26 is Make Up Your Own Holiday Day. I think I will name it as National Badger Day, which is already traditionally celebrated in England on or around June 21st. If you would like to join a letter-writing campaign to elevate National Badger Day to a national holiday in England, check out: http://www.weareallbadgers.com/nationalbadgerday.htm. Maybe we can start such a movement here in the good old US of A. I don’t currently see a possibility of celebration in the US except for a possible informal connection through the University of Wisconsin. Maybe my Webmaster would be interested in heading up such an effort…? (4) March 27th is National "Joe" Day. To my father-in-law, Happy Joe Day! Maybe I’ll have a cup of coffee to celebrate. Finally, (5) March 30 is I Am In Control Day! That is kind of a useless concept as I am already the boss in my house… and I have my wife’s permission to say so!

Later.