Volume 13, Number 11, March 16, 2008

(As regular readers know, I sometimes include some personal comments before the actual column begins. I won’t be doing that anymore [for the most part] as many of those comments have a new outlet and will now show up in a new blog I just started. You may check it out at: http://jpdave.blogspot.com. The first couple of entries were to just get my feet wet, but recent offering seems to be more what a blog should be (and a lot like the old Berman’s Bits). Please take a look and see what’s happening.)

Greetings, and thanks for joining me for another week. Starting us off are a few news stories you may have missed. (Hey, if “they” can dye rivers green to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, I can make my type green). First, government and business (or Fool me once, shame on you….)! Two former employees of Sioux Manufacturing Corp., in a 2006 whistle-blower lawsuit, disclosed the fact that the company had been skimping on the quality of the Kevlar in more than 2 million combat helmets sold to the Pentagon during 1994-2006 (that’s comforting). Probably admitting no guilt, Sioux agreed to pay $2 million to settle the dispute last month. The company did not challenge the fact that the Kevlar threading was lighter than the contract required, but the Pentagon said it knew of no troop injuries linked to the substandard threading (there’s a reliable source). In August 2007, however, while the Pentagon was still investigating, the U.S. Air Force nonetheless contracted with Sioux to produce new Kevlar combat helmets. [Air Force Times]

Next, PC still runs amok (but we already know that). In this past summer, the Houston School District, citing student privacy laws, declined to release last season's Bellaire High School baseball statistics (such as batting averages), even though requested by a player's parent. [Houston Chronicle]. But our schools are doing a great job under No Child Left Behind – just ask those in charge.

Finally, from Ananova, do I smell ad? A German retiree had to be rescued after she fell asleep while trying out a sofa bed at a Slumberland store. Gertrude Muller, 72, called emergency services when she finally woke up in the store only to find it closed and empty. A police spokesman said: "It appears the bed was in a corner of the showroom and she was overlooked by staff as she lay there sleeping quietly. She had come in to test the sofa out and she said the last thing she remembers before falling asleep was thinking how lovely and comfortable it was. She just nodded off. She was a bit scared when she woke up still in the shop but managed to find a phone in the salesroom and called us. She was impressed by the quality of the sofa bed but she is understandably a bit upset that the shop staff did not see her and left her there so she is not quite as impressed with the quality of the service."

You are never too old to learn something new. For example, in the following Bit from Reuters, I learned where the fashion fad of wearing pants low came from – and if more kids knew, the fad might disappear quite rapidly. The Florida Senate wants public school students to pull up their pants, so it passed a bill that could mean suspensions for students with droopy britches. It won't become law unless the House of Representatives passes a companion measure. Florida could join several southern U.S. towns and cities that have passed "saggy pants" laws aimed at outlawing what some teenagers consider a fashion statement -- wearing pants half way down their buttocks, exposing flesh or underwear. Supporters say schools sometimes don't properly police dress codes and parents are often "under aware" (pun possibly intended) of what their kids are wearing to school. Critics say the measure is unnecessary, arguing that appearance and dress codes should be the responsibility of school districts and parents. Despite being the butt of jokes (pun intended), the bill's sponsor, Orlando Sen. Gary Siplin, a Democrat, has said the fashion statement has a back-story (pun intended) -- it was made popular by rap artists after first appearing among prison inmates as a signal they were looking for sex. The Florida city of Riviera Beach recently passed its own saggy pants law with a maximum penalty of 60 days in jail for repeat offenders.

The AP carried a Bit about a case of mistaken identity (or you can’t be too careful these days). A raw turnip was at the root (pun intended) of a bomb scare that last for hours at a law office. An employee at Haller & Colvin Attorneys at Law called 911 after opening a U.S. Postal Service box and finding a suspicious gift bag inside, police said. Officers then called the city's bomb unit, which brought in a robot to carry the package outside to a parking lot. X-rays showed no signs of an explosive, but bomb technicians decided to detonate the package with a water cannon just to be safe. After that, they opened the box and found the turnip, wrapped in lettuce-green tissue paper inside a sandwich bag. It was unclear who was supposed to receive the vegetable.

Here’s a Bit that could be a rude awakening (pun intended). Danbury officials have been notified they are being sued by a student who was awakened in class by a teacher who made a loud noise. Documents filed with the Town Clerk, a prelude to a lawsuit, claim that a sleeping student suffered hearing damage when his teacher woke him up by slamming her hand down on the boy's desk late last year. Attorney Alan Barry says 15-year-old Vinicios Robacher suffered pain and "very severe injuries to his left eardrum" when teacher Melissa Nadeau abruptly slammed the palm of her hand on his desk. A city official says the matter has been referred to Danbury's insurance carrier. (Snopes.com)

OrlandoSentinel.com carried the following Bit that gives Stupid Pills a whole new meaning. An 18-year-old Winter Park man recently lost his life after riding in a shopping cart while holding onto a moving sport utility vehicle, the Florida Highway Patrol said. At 11:28 p.m., Cameron Bieberle was sitting in a shopping cart in the parking lot of University Walk Apartments near University Boulevard and Forsyth Road while hanging onto a Cadillac Escalade being driven by Michael Smith, 23, of Orlando. The car and the shopping cart went over a speed bump and the cart overturned, ejecting Bieberle, who was pronounced dead at the scene. Smith and a passenger in the car, Shaun Kirylczuk, 17, of Orlando, were not injured. Charges are pending against Smith, the FHP said.

Finally, TBO.com (Tampa Bay Online) offers the following Bit that suggests that honesty may not be the best policy. A hairstylist shot an unhappy client after she complained about her haircut, according to police. Lauren Newton, 28, was getting her hair cut at the home of Monique Reed when the two began to argue about the style, police said. "She (Reed) went to the bedroom, got a gun, fired a shot in the ceiling," Police Chief James Blyth said. Newton, who was trying to flee with her sister, was then shot in the lower back, he said. Reed, 38, was charged with aggravated assault and reckless endangerment. She remained in jail in this southwestern Pennsylvania town in lieu of $50,000 bond. Newton's injuries were not considered life threatening. She was taken to a hospital in nearby Pittsburgh for treatment. Sigh.

Later.