Volume 13, Number 1, January 6, 2008

(Before beginning this week’s column, I offer a few personal thoughts. If you don’t want personal thoughts, drop down to the actual column, which begins somewhere below in red type.

Every four years, people are reminded that there is a New Hampshire. This is one of those years. By the time many of you read this, the people will have begun to speak in the process to nominate candidates for the office of the President of the United States. This time around, there is much at stake making the interest level higher than ever.

Washington is and has been broken for many, many years. If we judge only by TV ads, almost anyone running would do a great job fixing it. Unfortunately, there seems to be quite the gap between what’s promised and what’s actually done [or not done]. Just like Charlie Brown and the football, every election we believe that this time the elected person will make a difference and things will get better. They haven’t. In today’s Sunday Times [London], the following appeared: “Living standards in Britain are set to rise above those in America for the first time since the 19th century, according to a report by the respected Oxford Economics consultancy.” What has happened to the greatest country in the world? Instead of positive change, it’s business as usual – BIG Business. I agree that most of the politicians are owned by the gas companies [from a 2007 Reuters’ report: Exxon Mobil Corp. posted the largest annual profit in U.S. history…. For the year, Exxon Mobil earned $39.5 billion, up from its previous record $36.1 billion in 2005”]. How about health insurance companies – from a 2007 AP report: “The health insurer Humana Inc. reported that its second-quarter profit more than doubled from a year ago on the strength of improved cost controls and sharply higher income from its government business. Humana, based in Louisville, posted net income of $216.8 million, or $1.28 a share, compared with $89.5 million, or 53 cents a share, in the period a year earlier.” Etc.

All of that so briefly said, the sheeple will continue to vote for the establishment candidates believing their words and promises, and so it will keep going. If I am wrong, I will hear about it, but I am still voting for Governor Bill Richardson because he gives me real hope for real change, which is probably why others won’t vote for him. As far as the media are concerned, there are six candidates: Obama, Clinton, Edwards, Giuliani, Romney, and sometimes McCain. Some give me hope, but I am one vote and I will vote my conscience based on the three or four issues important to me.
So get out and vote for your candidate because of his or her promises, but remember this piece of trivia: “Charlie Brown’s very first failed kick took place when Violet held the ball for him, in the 11/14/51 daily strip [Lucy took over in 1956]. Clearly worried that he might accidentally kick her hand, she pulls away at the last second while saying, "I can’t go through with it!" This happened some 42 additional times until 10/24/99 making a total of 43 football fake outs. Is it a coincidence Bush is our 43rd President? I don’t think so.)

Greetings, and thanks for joining me for another week. Starting us off are a few news stories you may have missed. First, from The Independent of London, a research team led by Richard Hanson of Case Western Reserve University (Cleveland) has produced a gathering of "supermice" whose physical abilities are the rodent equivalent of those of gifted humans. By modifying a single metabolism gene, researchers enhanced the mouse's ability to use body fat for energy, creating a mouse that can run five hours without stopping, live longer, and have three times as much, uh, loving as commonplace mice. According to Hanson, humans have exactly the same modifiable gene, "(b)ut this is not something that you'd do to a human. It's completely wrong." Yeah, just like taking steroids is wrong….

Next, Newsday carried a Bit about not drinking and, uh, driving? Late last year, Beckley, W.Va., police took into custody a 61-year-old man whom they found at the King Tut Drive-In apparently sober, after he had "driven" his four grandchildren, all around age 4, "on a busy street in a 15-foot motorboat pulled by a lawnmower.” The vehicle was of course unregistered and uninspected, and the children not properly seat-restrained, and the man seemed unaware that he had placed the kids in danger.

Finally, from Yahoo’s Strange News, the South Carolina Court of Appeals has upheld a judge's contempt order against a St. Matthews woman who signed a court document with an added not-very-nice instruction to the judge. While signing that probation revocation order, the woman decided to tell the judge what she could kiss (her, uh, backside). Circuit Judge Diane Goodstein found Judith Law in contempt and ordered her to serve 90 extra days. Law challenged the ruling, saying the contemptuous behavior happened outside the judge's view. "No matter where Law signed the revocation order, her conduct was in the presence of the judge," the Appeals Court wrote in its decision last month. In 2003, Law pleaded guilty to grand larceny and burglary charges and was sentenced to five years, suspended to time served. She also was sentenced to three years' probation and ordered to pay $300 in restitution. In September 2005, Law admitted violating her probation, which resulted in Goodstein reinstating the five-year sentence, according to the Appeals Court decision. Typically that document would not go back to the judge, but when this one did, Goodstein ordered a hearing, found Law in contempt and sentenced her to 90 days on top of her remaining sentence.

From Reuters, a Bit about fast cars. A new law meant to help crack down on young Canadian street racers in their souped-up cars has nabbed an octogenarian in his Oldsmobile. The 85-year-old man is one of 2,300 drivers across Ontario to be charged under new legislation, designed to combat "street racing, stunts and contests," since it came into effect three months ago -- and he's the oldest. The man was pulled over after allegedly driving 161 kilometers per hour (100 mph) this week on a main highway north of Toronto, where the speed limit is 100 km/h, Ontario Provincial Police said. "It really doesn't matter the age of the person or whether they're trying to race another car," OPP Sgt. Cam Woolley said on Friday. "The consequences of the crashes and the laws of physics are always in effect." Under the street racing legislation, a person is charged if they are driving 50 km/h more than the posted speed limit. "Street racing was probably a bad title for it, extreme driving probably would have been better," Woolley noted. Under the legislation, the 85-year-old could face a minimum C$2,000 ($2,000) fine.

On the other hand… also from Reuters. A woman banned from driving for seven days after traveling at speeds of less than 10mph on the motorway told Reuters: "that road's my nemesis." Stephanie Cole, 58, of Fishponds, Bristol, straddled the hard shoulder and inside lane as she crawled along a stretch of the M32 near her home . In the back window of the car was a sign which said: "I don't do fast, please overtake." Cole admitted driving without reasonable consideration at North Avon Magistrates' Court on and was told she would have to take another test at the end of the ban. "I didn't intend getting onto the motorway, but all of a sudden I found myself on it and I could not get off," she told Reuters after the hearing. "I just panicked. I hate that particular stretch of road and I avoid it normally. It is my nemesis." Cole had been traveling from her home to a stationer's when she was arrested in her Perodua Kenari mini people-carrier. "I thought "thank God" when I saw the blue flashing lights," she said. "I thought they could help and I asked them if they could drive me home." Cole, who has multiple sclerosis, said she depends on her car for getting around. "I will try and retake the test," she said. "I will have to do my best when driving, and hope it is better than it was."

Idiot Sightings – from an e-mail going around (here are one or two new ones): (1) We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two."  We haven't used Sears repair since. (2) About a deputy from Dallas County: I work with an individual (the deputy) who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

Liquid Stupid Pills: from the Edinburgh Scotsman, Helen Trueman, 62, admitted she "lost count after the14th vodka" celebrating the new year in 2000, and was out walking when she tripped over a fence in a park in Portlethen, Aberdeen, Scotland. She says she grabbed for a guard rail, but missed it and fell and injured herself. She sued the owner of the park, the Shire of Aberdeen, and agreed on 35,000 pounds (US$69,750) in damages. But after Trueman was held 80 percent responsible for her own injuries, the award was reduced to 7,000 pounds (US$13,950). "I deserve a lot more money," she
complained after the decision. "It's the council's fault." Why?

Finally, a few quotes for your deep consideration: (1) “We have enough youth. How about a fountain of 'smart'?” (2) “If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.” (3) “The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.” (4) “You must give up the way it is... to have it the way you want it.” (5) “You only live once -- but if you work it right, once is enough.” Joe E. Lewis

Later.