Volume 13, Number 28, July 13, 2008

(Check out my blog at: http://jpdave.blogspot.com/ and feel free to leave a comment (your comments will encourage me to blog more)! Please take a look and see what’s happening; there’s no telling what you might find. Go on; take a look; go! Now – this’ll still be here.)

Greetings, and thanks for joining me for another week. Starting us off are a few news stories you may have missed. First, how far is too far (and how sensitive is too sensitive)? By the way, I hope you appreciate this first Bit; I’ll give you a black eye if you don’t! From the Dallas News - Dallas City Hall Blog: a special meeting about Dallas County traffic tickets turned stressed and quite out of the ordinary as county commissioners were discussing problems with the main collections office that is used to process traffic ticket payments and handle other paperwork normally done by the JP Courts (how come I don’t have that power?). Commissioner Kenneth Mayfield, who is white, said that it seemed that central collections "has become a black hole" because paperwork seemingly has become lost in the office. Commissioner John Wiley Price, who is black, interrupted him with a loud "Excuse me!" He then corrected his colleague, saying the office has become a "white hole." That prompted Judge Thomas Jones, who is black, to demand an apology from Mayfield for his racially insensitive analogy. Mayfield shot back that it was a figure of speech and a science term (it is both). A black hole, according to Webster's, is perhaps "the invisible remains of a collapsed star, with an intense gravitational field from which neither light nor matter can escape." Other county officials quickly interceded to break it up and get the meeting back on track. They said TV news cameras were rolling, after all. (Anyone remember the ridiculous controversy about the word “niggardly”)

Next, from NOLA.com, with literally just minutes left in the last shift of his 35-year New Orleans police career, Sgt. Bobby Guidry received a call from a supervisor telling him he had been suspended for wearing the wrong uniform shirt. The Police Department confirmed the reprimand, though it quibbled with the term "suspended." Rather, Guidry is "under investigation for wearing the wrong uniform," said Police Department spokesman Bob Young (and I thought it was bad that I couldn’t have coffee on my desk at work). Instead of the standard-issue all-black uniform, Guidry chose to wear the powder-blue uniform shirt that he had worn to work for more than three decades. He viewed it as a simple statement, not an affront to rules or department leadership. "Eighteen people died in the line of duty in that powder-blue shirt while I was with the department," Guidry said. "I went to each of those funerals. I wore that shirt on a Saturday, on my last day, out of respect for them." Police brass apparently didn't appreciate the fashion statement or sentiment. Young said the improper uniform complaint originated in the 2nd District. The department's Public Integrity Bureau then opened a formal investigation with about 15 minutes left in Guidry's career. The punishment will not affect Guidry's pension or benefits, but, as it stands now, he will not receive his retired police commission and will not be accepted into the NOPD's reserve unit, for which he had applied. Superintendent Warren Riley, who could not be reached for comment, was apprised of the investigation, Young said. Young said Riley stressed that "an officer has to maintain professionalism at all times, whether it is his first or last day." For Guidry, the whole affair turned what might have been a bittersweet day simply bitter (gee, I wonder why!!!)

Finally, as seen in the Des Moines Register, a Des Moines bound United Airlines flight from Denver was delayed six hours when passengers alerted flight attendants to three ticks in the plane’s cabin (and we’re not talking ticks as in tocks of a timing device).“It is an unusual situation to find ticks on the plane, and we regret any inconvenience this might have caused our customers,” a United spokeswoman said. How the naughty arachnids got on the jet had not been determined. A replacement aircraft shuttled the 107 passengers to Des Moines while Flight 1178 was deticked and checked over (and under). The good news is that no ticks were found on passengers. “I never heard of it before, but it is a serious matter, and they had to get plane cleaned up,” said passenger William B. Seward, 80, of The Villages, Fla. “I’m retired, so my schedule is flexible.” So, William, it’s always about you, isn’t it? (The truth? The three ticks added extra weight to the plane, which would have increased fuel consumption, and with the current administration’s failed economic policies….)

Three ticks, five rings, there has to be a connection here somewhere (let me know if you find it.… Dr. Wei Sheng, the Chinese man who holds the Guinness Book record of sticking 1,790 needles in his head at one time recently stuck himself with 2,008 pins in the Olympic design and colors (something to do). I just thought you should know. Daily Telegraph (London)

Speaking of China (was I doing that?), here’s a mainstream Bit from Reuters that I felt needed included here: Beijing has asked hotels and restaurants in the city to take dog meat off the menu for the duration of next month's Olympics and September's Paralympics. Dog is eaten not only by the large Korean community in China's capital but is also popular in Yunnan and Guizhou restaurants. A directive from the Beijing Food Safety Office ordered Olympic contractor hotels not to provide any dishes made with dog meat and said any canine material used in traditional medicated diets must be clearly labeled. Concerned that canine dishes might offend animal rights groups and Western visitors *gee, you think?), Beijing said restaurants expected to be popular among foreign visitors must stop serving dog meat "to respect the dining customs of different countries" (sounds like the US making sure no one is offended about anything. You know, if we have Indian visitors in the US, maybe we should remove beef from restaurants). The directive "advocated" that all restaurants serving dog suspend it during the Olympics but made no mention of the many popular establishments with donkey on the menu (I can just see a Westerner saying, “I’d like a piece of a….” Uh, never mind).

Treating our troops well (that’s what we’re all about… or should be. I think they’re getting as raw a deal as Vietnam vets [except these guys are at least welcomed home])! Late last year, Pittsburgh radio station KDKA reported that soldier Jordan Fox had recently been ordered to return $3,000 of his $10,000 enlistment bonus because his blindness and back injury from a roadside bomb in Iraq prevented him from fulfilling the final three months of his one-year Army "commitment." Fox was surprised to learn that the give-back is standard (so was I); fortunately, U.S. Rep. Jason Altmire of Pennsylvania has introduced legislation to change that. [KDKA]

Celebrate, Celebrate, Dance to the Music… (1) July 13 is Fool's Paradise Day (I’ll be in Heaven). (2) July 14 is National Nude Day (to prove you celebrated properly, send along pictures (guys, I’ll take your word for it]. (3) July 15 is National Tapioca Pudding Day and Respect Canada Day – twofer!. (4) Wow! July 19 is Flitch Day (I had my staff check this out as this was a new one for me - the holiday of Flitch Day began with an old, old custom thought to have started in the year 1104 in Little Dunmow, England. A flitch (or side) of bacon is awarded as prize for any married couple who could prove to a jury of bachelors and maidens that they had lived together in harmony and fidelity for the past year and had not wished themselves "unmarried". Traditionally, not many have brought home the bacon.”)

From Ananova (and keeping with the idea of making sure we’re all equal), an airport has been accused of too much political correctness (is there really such a thing?) after advertising for a new air traffic controller in Braille. Although '20/20 vision' is a requirement of the position at St Mary's airport on the Isles of Scilly, UK (hey, doesn’t that discriminate against the visually impaired?), the application form is offered in both Braille and audio format. But the operators of the airport say they are merely following equal opportunity guidelines to avoid accusations of discrimination (and lack of common sense, but the law is the law, you know). The airport, operated by the Council of the Isles of Scilly, is seeking a fourth air traffic controller and offering a salary of up to £36,000 (given our Bush economy, that’s probably like equal to $5 million USD [actually, my staff tells me as of this writing it’s $71,327.50]). The advertisement states that applicants must have excellent vision in order to guide aircraft safely into the hilltop airport, which is often fogbound. Yet at the bottom is the note: "If you require this document in an alternative language, in larger text, Braille, easy read or in an audio format, please contact the Community Relations Officer." A spokeswoman for the Council of the Isles of Scilly said the wording was included on all job adverts "to ensure that potential job applicants know that they can access information in a format to suit them." However, the move was applauded by Bill Alker, from the Royal National Institute for the Blind.

Finally, a Florida man survived being bitten by a poisonous pygmy rattlesnake while browsing the garden department at Wal-Mart. The man was given an antidote at Memorial Hospital Miramar after being taken from the Pembroke Pines shopping center, The Miami Herald reported. Officials said the man was bitten on his right hand by the foot-long snake. “(The bite) wouldn't have been fatal with an adult male. But you could lose a finger,'' Miami-Dade County Fire/Rescue Capt. Ernie Jillson said, adding that the bite could conceivably kill a senior citizen or child. Jillson said the bitten man is expected to make a full recovery. Wal-Mart employees said they called for emergency help quickly after the man was struck and are cooperating with officials who are looking into the incident. (What makes this Bit most interesting is what my staff found out: The Carolina pigmy rattler is found in the northeastern, northwestern, and central portion of Georgia and throughout South Carolina; there was no mention of China! I mean, isn’t that where everything sold in America comes from these days?)

Later.