Berman’s Bits

Volume 12, Number 6, February 11, 2007

     Next, speaking of fishing, the Wall St. Journal reported about a new trend (new to me, at least): "Fantasy Fishing" leagues. They are like fantasy baseball and football leagues and use complex statistical breakdowns of fishing tournaments to help players pick winners. "Average weight per fish (caught) over careers," "margin of victory (in pounds)," and other data points are plotted by players, along with weather reports, depth and temperature of tournament lakes, and intangibles such as "home-lake curse" (Yawn – oops, sorry). The organization FLW Outdoors estimates there are 40,000 fantasy players, many of whom have never actually fished (I wonder how many have even been outdoors).

     Finally from Ananova, a 15-year-old schoolgirl has been sent to prison in Germany - for skipping school. The girl was sentenced to two weeks in prison after she missed more than three weeks of school. Under heavy criticism, the judge refused to back down saying, "She had a fine which she did not pay; then she asked for the fine to be converted into doing social work which she did not do. Now she has to go to jail.” A prison sentence was the last resort. Everything else failed." The girl had asked for the prison sentence to be converted back to social work, but the judge refused, saying: "This is not a TV show. The sentence has been handed down." (I am sure Judge Judy wouldn’t back down either!)

     Hey, kids, what time is it? If you’re old enough, there’s really only one answer, but if you are looking for an excuse to par-tay, here are some excuses: February 12 is National Plum Pudding Day (woo-hoo). February 13 is Get a Different Name Day.  February 14 is Ferris Wheel Day. February 15 is National Gum Drop Day. February 16 is Do a Grouch a Favor Day. February 17 is Champion Crab Races Day. I will reserve any comments on the last one.

     Yahoo News ran a Bit about more than 6,000 couples who kissed all together at midnight last Saturday in the Philippines with the goal to set a new world record. Organizers of the annual pre-Valentine's Day celebration said they broke the record held by Hungary, where 5,875 couples kissed simultaneously in Budapest in 2005. "We broke the record, it's great," said Howard Belton, a Briton who spearheaded the event. With fireworks, confetti, a giant TV screen, and red balloons as the backdrop, couples locked lips and hugged for 10 seconds following a countdown outside a Manila mall. An unofficial tally showed 6,124 couples kissed simultaneously, organizers said, but the number needs to be verified by an independent auditor and approved by Guinness World Record officials before it becomes a world record. (Me? I think I hold the world record for being told to “kiss off.”)

     I chose not to include a Bit of how 165,000 eggs were spilled on a highway in the nation’s capital. Instead, and more to my liking, the AP ran an exciting (and similar) Bit about how 40 tons of cow intestines and bones spilled onto a major highway in Wisconsin after a truck driver became distracted fooling around with his digital music player and his trailer tipped over. Authorities closed parts of Interstate 43 for about two hours while the beef byproduct was cleaned up (I can only imaging where the 40 tons of “stuff” was headed. The driver was cited for inattentive driving and taken to a hospital with non-life threatening injuries (until his boss gets a hold of him).

     What’s with Wisconsin? In another AP Bit, Sheboygan police arrested a woman after she allegedly left her two children in a freezing car for 20 minutes while she went tanning. The 27-year-old woman was arrested after two people spotted the children, ages 23 months and 10 years, in the car. The vehicle was locked but not running. Officers responding to the scene were approached by the children's parents. The father met the mother at the tanning salon and was arguing with her about why the children were in the car, according to police. The children were dressed warmly, but they had "goose bumps" from the cold, the release said. They did not require medical attention. The temperature at the time was 12 degrees, with a wind chill index of about minus 2 degrees. The woman could be charged with two counts of misdemeanor child neglect. "She said she was going on vacation and felt that the tanning was a priority."

     Stupid People Dept. from the Cleveland Plain Dealer – when a 30-inch red-tailed boa constrictor was ripped off from a pet store in police had little to go on despite a security camera video showing a 15-year-old boy putting the $300 snake in his jacket and walking out of the store, with his mother acting as a lookout. But, here comes the good part - the next day, the boy and his mother wearing the exact same clothing came back to the store to find out what kind of boa it was, to get books on how to care for boas, and to buy food for the snake. Employees kept them talking until police arrived. The woman and her son were arrested on theft charges, and the snake was recovered from their home.

     Finally, who did you say you are? From Ananova, an escaped convict tried to give himself up - but was turned away from prison because he had no identity card. The man had escaped from prison in Ghent, after a visit to the doctor last month., and police issued national warnings about the man who was in jail for robbery and drug dealing. His attorney persuaded him to turn himself in and accompanied him to a prison, but he was denied access because he couldn't show his identity card. The warden told the man to come back later with his papers, which he did."  Very wisely, the prison head said, "We never had seen the man before and we couldn't identify him. It would have been a scandal if we locked up the wrong person."

     Later.