Volume 12, Number 47, December 16, 2007

(Before starting this week’s column, a few thoughts. It is said that New Hampshire has three seasons: winter, mud, and August. I think it is time to add a fourth – the first-in-the-nation primary season. Don’t get me wrong, it enables us out here in the sticks to have some degree of boasting rights [along with the Red Sox {finally} and the Patriots]. But to maintain that status, there is a price to pay: I have been a sometimes-willing participant in numerous telephone surveys {I am always honest} and recipient of pre-recorded calls {I always hang up}; I have had my mailbox regularly packed with glossy, oversized post cards and occasionally “personalized” letters from the candidates, and I cannot watch the evening news without being amazed by the overwhelming number of candidates’ television ads crammed in to a one hour period [and scattered regularly throughout whatever other show happens to be on}. With just a few weeks to go, I will get through it all as I always have, but having paid closer attention to this election than usual [our country has gone far astray], I have developed such a hatred for these ads. When one (me) looks beyond all the nice sounding words (‘”We need to do this and that for a better, stronger, more moral, whatever America”), one (me) realizes what a fraud the whole system is. To wit, when the Democrats pretty much swept the last election with people believing the promises made, nothing has changed! One article referred to the Dems as “spineless,” and I am inclined to agree as they keep funding the war they said they would stop. On the other hand, when I hear a candidate say, “I hope we… take this nation back for Christ,” I am afraid, as this country is made up of more than just Christians. The First Amendment says… well, you know all of that already. Anyhow, without launching into more of a rant, and as a public service, I offer my official endorsements [regular readers know what’s coming]. On the Republican side, the only choice is Ron Paul [a Libertarian disguised as a Republican}. On the Democratic side, I support Gov. Bill Richardson. I believe these men speak their minds honestly and do not carefully measure every word; they do not say just what people want to hear. They are genuine people and not Politicians in the pejorative sense of the word; they will get us out of a war we shouldn’t have bene in. As is often heard around certain parts of the country:Vote early, and vote often!)

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Greetings, and thanks for joining me for another week. Starting us off are a few news stories you may have missed. First, it must have been a slow news day…. A CBS news report told of twin sisters Doris McAusland and Dora Bennett who are 80 years old, live in Madison, Wis., apparently like and dislike the same foods, met their husbands on the same day, from the same church group, had hysterectomies at the same time, always get their hair done together, and, ever since they were toddlers, have worn identical outfits every day (except for one time that they had different shoes). (Their favorite song? “I Gotta Be Me!” …not)

Next, hey, it could have been water-boarding…. Sachio Kawabata, 61, was awarded about $5,000 by a court in Kagoshima because the police ill-treated him during interrogation over his possible violations of election law. The judge found that Kawabata suffered "great mental anguish" when police wrote his family name and deprecating messages on pieces of paper and forced Kawabata to stomp on them (Ooooh, that’s harsh!) [Reuters]

Finally, Elmo probably isn’t very happy today. Drug agents broke up a Colorado drug ring that shipped methamphetamine hidden in Elmo dolls and other toys, according to authorities. Agents said they seized more than 45 pounds of what they described as high-quality methamphetamine worth $864,000 and capable of supplying 4 million doses. A special agent in charge of the federal Drug Enforcement Administration's Rocky Mountain Region, said the group’s leader was working about five methamphetamine rings. "I've never seen a meth arrest have more impact than this one," he said. (But Elmo? I said - Is nothing sacred?)

A happy story, at last. From Ananova (presented as presented): “Crinkly the ugly swan has become well-known at a Gloucester bird sanctuary, after flying in from Russia every winter since 2001. But conservation workers have watched with dismay as Crinkly failed miserably to attract the opposite sex. "We were worried about Crinkly because he is such a strange-looking bird," said Jools Mackin, spokesperson for Slimbridge Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust. Until now, none the females at the trust was prepared to mate with him but conservation workers say they can see signs of a budding romance. "We are delighted because we think Crinkly has finally found a girlfriend," said Ms Mackin. "He appears to be loosely associating with another Slimbridge Bewick's swan called Taciturn. "It is too early to say whether or not they are mates, but we'll be monitoring them over the next few days to see. At the moment they are associating on Swan Lake. "They are flying in and out together and we do hope they will become mates." Experts at Slimbridge were amazed when Crinkly first arrived as a cygnet with parents Lucius and Coletta, with a strangely deformed neck probably caused by a birth defect.” Awww, I guess there really is someone for everyone.

An Indian holy man is recovering in hospital after two men cut off his 'magical' right leg and ran off with it. Yanadi Kondaiah, 80, made the claim that those who touched his leg would be cured of illness or have wishes granted. But the Hindu's claims seems to have turned against him when two strangers plied him with alcohol, then cut off his leg with a sickle. Police said the mystical man was approached by two men who asked him to help them with his magical powers. Local police sub-Inspector Pendakanti Dastgiri said: "They took him to a deserted spot in the outskirts of the village. After the old man had passed out under the influence of liquor, they cut off his right leg from the knee." The victim was then left alone, bleeding heavily, until he was found by passing villagers and taken to hospital. "This seems to be a case of superstition. The two people might have taken away the leg hoping to benefit from its magical powers," added Mr Dastgiri. Mr Kondaiah said that he did not understand the motive of the men in taking away his leg. "I have always been good to others and helped who ever came to me. Then why has this been done to me?" he asked. (Also from Ananova)

Good News, Bad News Dept. The New York Times reports on looking for publicity (in all the wrong ways), Serendipity 3, a restaurant in New York, N.Y., was offering the world's most expensive dessert: a $25,000 Frrrozen Haute Chocolate. All of the resulting publicity may have reminded the city's Department of Health and Mental Hygiene that the restaurant was due for another health inspection, since it had failed one previously. Inspectors came in, found "rodent and fly infestation and conditions conducive to pest infestation, including stagnant water in the basement." The inspector found a live mouse, mouse droppings in multiple locations, flies and cockroaches (all included at no extra charge?). Having failed a second time, the restaurant was ordered closed until it could pass. "We will re-open as soon as possible," a restaurant spokesman said. "It is unfortunate that published reports have exaggerated the situation and may be leading to certain misperceptions." (Yeah, misperceptions….)

Finally, Reuters reported just how bad the gas crisis really is. China's worst fuel crunch in years has led a crematorium to dump half-burnt corpses to try saving on diesel costs. Villagers in Hengyang county, in the southern province of Hunan, discovered the practice when an "unbearable stench" started coming from the site, and tried to block a road to stop funeral vehicles from delivering more bodies. The village sent people to investigate the smell and according to one paper saw "crematorium workers putting half-burnt human remains and organs in plastic bags and throwing them into a nearby ditch." "As the price of diesel rose, we saw more and more bags thrown out from the crematorium.”. China was hit by its worst fuel supply crisis in four years from October to November, as a widening gap between low, state-regulated domestic prices and market-driven international prices forced Chinese refiners to cut their output. Sigh – it’s everywhere, it’s everywhere!

Later.