Volume 12, Number 29, July 29, 2007

Greetings, and thanks for joining me for another week. Starting us off are a few news stories you may have missed. First, this is why some people have to make lots of money (or because some people have lots of money is why things like this are made). Milwaukee’s Journal Sentinel carried a Bit about backyard play sets that can range in price up to high-end outfits of $2,000 to $12,000 that would typically include fancy combinations of rock walls, rope ladders, sandboxes and tunnel slides, and maybe a tower with roofs and rotating plastic guns mounted on the walls (sponsored by the White House to get kids ready? Think about it – a vast sandbox and guns). Also available: the King Kong Carl McKee Custom, at 46 feet by 58 feet, featuring towers 16 feet high (price: only about $46,000, installed). Geez, I’m feeling like I cheated my daughter with her ordinary backyard swing; it did have two swings on it, though)

Next, piggybacking on the first Bit, from Ontario’s Standard-Freeholder (why do I always want to say ‘Freeloader’?) came word that the Canadian Center for Policy Alternatives reported at the start of this year that the country's 100 highest-paid business executives had, by 9:46 a.m. on Jan. 2, earned an amount equal to what the average Canadian would earn in all of 2007. Of course, should such a study be done in the US, the date would probably be January 1st. (As an aside because this is too short to put anywhere else, Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.)

Finally, piggybacking of both previous Bits, Ananova offered the following: Selfridges is selling a diamond-encrusted cutlery set priced at £200,000 ($405,330 USD). And Harrods is to offer a gold and diamond-studded cooking pan for £100,000 ($202,665 USD). The 144-piece solid-silver cutlery set is made with 4,000 diamonds weighing a total of 74 carats. The head of Selfridges' home department, Kit Li-Perry, said: "This wonderful cutlery set is catering for customers who have a passion for craftsmanship of the highest order where money is no object. We know this is exactly what some of our customers want from Selfridges and we are delighted to be able to satisfy their expectations." Harrods will display the luxury pan in its second-floor cook shop this fall. The department store describes the two-handled pot as being "probably the most precious pot in the world". Made by renowned German cookware firm Fissler, it contains 200 diamonds of varying sizes. Sigh… it must be nice…to have a diamond-studded piece of cookware (or two).

As I often tell my students, yes, in spite of what the do-gooders want them to believe, there are winners and losers in society (and for some reason, there will always be people left behind [often their own choice]). Guess which the following man is (from a story on Yahoo News): A central New York man hit the criminal justice trifecta with three arrests in three hours. The 40-year-old man was recently charged with soliciting money from people and loitering. A little more than an hour later he was charged with disorderly conduct for stepping in front of a vehicle, causing the driver, an off-duty police officer, to slam on his brakes. Around 2:30 that same morning, police say he was arrested a third time after taking money from people after telling them he ran out of gas and needed to get to another town. Unfortunately, the police say the alleged perp has no car. Our strikeout victim was sent to the Madison County Jail and is due back in court... again.

In a heartwarming Bit from the Washington Post, during a barbecue in the back yard of a Capitol Hill home in Washington, DC, a man came into the yard, grabbed a 14-year-old guest, and put a gun to her head. "Give me your money or I'll start shooting," he threatened. "We were just finishing dinner," replied one of the guests. "Why don't you have a glass of wine with us?" She held out a glass, and the gunman took it. "Damn, that's good wine," the intruder said of the Chateau Malescot St-Exupery, a French vintage that runs about $60 a bottle. He took another sip to wash down a bite of cheese. "I think I may have come to the wrong house," he said, putting away his gun. "I'm sorry. Can I get a hug?" Each of the five adult guests hugged him, but the gunman asked for more: "Can we have a group hug?" Everyone surrounded him and complied. He then departed, taking the glass of wine with him. The glass was found in an alley by police, but the gunman hasn't been found. "They should have squeezed him," said a District Police Commander, "and held onto him for us."

In another nice Bit (at least at the beginning) from “This is True,” Michelle Eather, 37, of Woodbridge, Tas., Australia, learned she was a perfect match for a U.S. man who needs a kidney transplant, so she agreed to donate her left kidney to the man, whom she has never met. But (here’s the rub) when news of her donation broke, she started getting calls from people wanting her other kidney -- or other organs. "There have probably been more than 2,000 inquiries," Eather said. "Some people email me twice a day."

My baby brother sent along some great quips worthy of including here (read them carefully). (1) I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. (2) Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. (3) Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. (4) The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. (5) A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. Those were from a column by Bob Hill.

Nominees for Parents of the Year award come from the AP. A couple who admitted locking a 7-year-old boy in his room with a bucket for a toilet while they watched Packers games at a casino received jail sentences for their, uh, parenting skills. Circuit Judge Jeffrey Wagner called the couple's actions "abhorrent" and ordered them to undergo psychological screening. "What both of you did certainly shocks the conscience of the community," Wagner said. The couple admitted locking the boy in his room with a loaf of bread, peanut butter and jelly, and a bucket that he would have to clean when they returned. They had enough money to hire a baby sitter, said an assistant district attorney, who showed the judge photographs of the couple's extensive collection of Packers memorabilia. Wagner scolded the couple, one a former youth counselor, for not thinking about what would happen if the boy got sick or the house caught fire while they were at the casino. He sentenced the man to seven months in a county jail and the woman to nine months. Both will serve four years of probation, with a stayed sentence of two years in prison and more extended supervision. The couple also can't have contact with each other in the presence of the boy, who has since turned eight. He is staying with relatives. The couple's defense attorney, Richard Johnson, said he couldn't explain their behavior. "What do you do?" he asked the judge. "Maybe this coming football season, lock them in a room with a bucket and make them watch Bears games."

Later.