Volume 12, Number 12, March 26, 2007

     Greetings, and thanks for joining me for another week. Starting us off are a few news stories you may have missed.  First, London’s Daily Mail carried a Bit that must have been inspired by the PC movement still running rampant in the good old U. S. of A. The chief teacher of Johnstown Primary School in Carmarthen, Wales, dictated last month that there be no Mother's Day cards in school this year because it might be distressing to students without a mother. (As a matter of fact, why not go further and just do away with the holiday altogether as well as any other day that doesn’t include everyone, which is just about all of them.

     Next, the Columbus Dispatch carried the following heartwarming Bit. "I shouldn't even be doing this," said Judge Gary F. McKinley in a Kenton, Ohio, courtroom last summer. "I'm cutting you somewhat of a break," he told two star athletes of Kenton High who had just been convicted of vehicular vandalism in a prank that caused two men serious, life-long disabilities. The kids' sentence: 60 days in juvenile detention (plus community service), but only after football season ended. (Needless to say, the families of the victims were appalled, especially the family of the one who was brain-damaged. But, I mean, it was just a prank after all.)

     Finally, another uplifting Bit from Ananova that will melt the ice in even the hardest of hearts. A Norfolk man is finally going to marry a woman whose name he had tattooed on his arm 32 years ago. Andy Cheeseman's choice to make known his love for Annette Law as a 17-year-old appeared somewhat premature when they split up before she had even seen it. After more than two decades and two broken marriages the couple got back together again after a chance reunion through Friends Reunited and Annette was finally able to see the tattoo for the first time. Andy, 49, of Gorleston, said:"It's very emotional."

     Hmmm, this coffee tastes like… oh, hi there. I was about to have a sip when I realized I was in the middle of compiling this column, so on with the next Bit. An eighth-grader faces expulsion after admitting he put urine in a teacher's coffee pot. The Wilson Middle School teacher noticed that the coffee had an unusual odor and reported it to the principal. A student who overheard classmates discussing it also reported the incident. Urine was found in the locker of the eighth-grade boy, who admitted to putting some in the coffee. The eighth-grader has been suspended pending a recommendation for expulsion, said the assistant superintendent. "This type of student behavior will not be tolerated," Wilson principal DiLynn Phelps and Superintendent Marlin B. Creasy wrote in a letter to parents. "No student will be permitted to deliberately attempt to cause bodily harm to any other student, teacher or staff member." (Yeah, but what if he were a star athlete?)

     Next, I am already disgusted with the political scene – all of these candidates campaigning way too early, promising the world, and, well, you know the rest. Anyhow, in the local scene, the NH Dems just elected as their State Democratic Chairman a man who was featured in an unflattering (to say the least!) YouTube profile (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iB1-j_P6rI). There may be something for the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell philosophy because now that I know, I wouldn’t want this person in charge of anything. The Dems even voted first to change the rules to allow write-in candidates so they could elect him 109-13. Feh! I have had it with the mainstream parties.

     More government at its best. The Garden City Telegram reported that the Frazier Park Lake near Ulysses, Kansas, has been dry for at least 20 years, so the city voted for a $735,000 project to fill it by using the lake bed to hold its wastewater rather than use nearly the same amount of money to refurbish the plant's evaporation ponds. There's only one problem: an unusually snowy winter has filled the lake with water. The city therefore plans to drain the lake so the project can proceed. (Is that anything like destroying the village to save it?)

     I apologize to the person that sent this along as I lost your name from the e-mail, but thank you anyhow. Here are some of the better “Things It Takes Most of Us 50 Years to Learn: (1) You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time (actually, I guess we still haven’t learned it yet as we are still observing it). (2) People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. (3) If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." (4) If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and he decides to deliver a message to humanity, he will NOT use as his messenger a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle or in some cases, really bad make-up too. (5) A person who is really nice to you but is rude to the waiter/janitor/etc. is not a nice person. (Also, a person who is nice to everyone else but treats you lousy is not a nice person.) Bonus: When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

     Now that it appears the worst of winter is over, I can offer the following classic Bit from the Rocky Mountain News without upsetting too many people. Colorado ranchers were having trouble getting federal aid for the major blizzard that hit back in December. The Federal Emergency Management Agency is waiting for documented proof of how much snow fell to compare it to historical averages so it can approve claims – but the gauges can't be read. They're still buried in snow.

     Finally, from the AP, a seventh-grader might end up in court for wearing Winnie the Pooh socks to school. Toni Kay Scott, 14, was sent to an in-school suspension program called Students with Attitude Problems for violating a dress code, according to a lawsuit against the Napa Valley Unified School District and Redwood Middle School. She had put on socks with the Tigger character from the Winnie the Pooh cartoons on them, along with a denim skirt and a brown shirt with a pink border. But (here’s the rub) the school's policy requires students to wear clothes with solid colors in blue, white, green, yellow, khaki, gray, brown and black. Permitted fabrics are cotton twill, corduroy and chino. No denim is allowed. The lawsuit filed in Napa County Superior Court by The American Civil Liberties Union and a law firm on the girl's behalf, alleges that the dress code is unconstitutionally vague and too restrictive. "We should be able to show everyone who we are and have a way to express ourselves, as long as we aren't showing off things that shouldn't be shown off at school," the teenager said in a statement. The lawsuit said the policy goes too far and forces aesthetic conformity in the name of safety. The rules violate the California Education Code, said plaintiffs' attorney Sharon O'Grady.

     Later.