Volume 12, Number 11, March 19, 2007

     Greetings, and thanks for joining me for another week. Starting us off are a few news stories you may have missed.  First, remember the old story about the person who complained because he had no shoes until he met a man with no feet? Everything is relative, I guess. Two of the world’s most horrendous slums are the Kibera neighborhood in Nairobi, Kenya, and the Dahravi section of Mumbai, India. The populace there has recently found well-to-do international visitors wandering through their toxic, squalid urban hells as voyeurs on travel agency-arranged tours. "(T)hey want to come and take pictures ... tell their friends they've been to the worst slum in Africa," lamented one resident of Kibera (which has one toilet for every 1,440 people), but a current Smithsonian magazine piece quoted a Dahravi tour entrepreneur as promising to show "the positive side of (the) slum" (for instance, the community spirit that discourages street beggars, in a nation otherwise teeming with them).

     Next, in a closely connected Bit (with a bit of imagination), ABC News on the Internet carried a story about people who buy $40,000 handbags. To help us understand, in her London loft, Jasmine Lennard, surrounded by her collection of handbags says, "It sort of means you've achieved a certain level of success if you've got a certain type of handbag." Even though “…about $39,000] for a bag is insane. You know, I see that when there are children starving, but I work for my beautiful things." As she unpacks a brand new Louis Vuitton bag, the reported unpretentiously ask if she might use the shoulder strap provided. "I'm not a fan of shoulder straps," she says with raised eyebrow. "I think it's a little bit peasant." Lennard, a model and aspiring television presenter (which explains a lot), is a self-confessed handbag fanatic. She says beautiful bags give her confidence. "If you have a fantastic bag and you know you have a fantastic bag and everybody who looks at you knows you have a fantastic bag, you feel like Superwoman," she says.

     Finally, in a Bit I find deeply heartwarming as both the Bit Master and a Justice of the Peace, Ananova reported on three generations of a Romanian family who had their weddings on the same day. First to say 'I do' were grandparents Gheorghe Ghinea, 60 and Elena, 58, who have been together for 40 years. Then, parents Sinoris Ghinea and Rita, who are now in their 40s and have six children together, tied the knot. Finally, their son Laurentiu Ghinea, 21, married his girlfriend, Mariana, 20. The three couples, from Targu Carbunesti in Gorj county, said they never had the time to go to the registry office before. But they admitted a new law in Romania, under which newly married couples get 200 euros, had also played a part.    

     Again, somewhat related to the last Bit is a weird story also from Ananova. An Indian woman who could not marry her lover during his lifetime because they belong to different castes has reportedly tied the knot with his corpse. Tulsi Devipujak, 20, got married to the body of 25-year-old Sanjay Dantania after he drowned in a well. It is reported members of bride's family dressed up the dead man like a groom and conducted the marriage rituals on a decorated stage. In my years as a JP, that’s one wedding I haven’t yet performed.

     Meanwhile, back on the other side of the world, the Explorers Club in New York City called it in effect the only place in the world where “gourmets” can take pleasure in such delicacies as scorpion, cricket, tarantula and maggot, and pigeon pate, as well as unusual parts of common livestock. Worms are also prized if they've been "evacuated" on oatmeal for a few days before serving. (I hope that Webmaster Eli doesn’t get any ideas here.)

          Things happen fast in the world of the Internet. A Bit that had me quite worried has resolved itself before I could even report on it. The story of “The Three Little Pigs” was booted from a children's show because it might offend Muslims. Organizers of the Kirklees Primary Music Festival altered the traditional tale to “The Three Little Puppies.” But local councilors have now reversed the decision which they said was well-intentioned but wrong. Jim Dodds, the council's Cabinet member for children's services, said the decision to change the wording was a "mistake". "On this particular aspect of it - everyone knows the story of the Three Little Pigs and other nursery stories as well. We have all read them to our own children and grandchildren. I am sure that no-one is offended by any wording within any of those traditional stories. Gill Goodswen, one of the organizers of the festival, had said: "We have to be sensitive if we want to be multi-cultural. It was felt it would be more responsible not to use the three little pigs." Lest I become a target, I will refrain from further comment and let the Bit speak for itself.

     Time for a few more classic quotes: (1) "It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult." Seneca. (2) "When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us." Alexander Graham Bell. (3) "Every man's work, whether it e literature or music or pictures or architecture or anything else, is always a portrait of himself." Samuel Butler. (4) "The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well."  H.T. Leslie. (5) Finally, proving just how many immature people there are out there, "Maturity begins to grow when you can sense your concern for others outweighing your concern for yourself." John MacNaughton.

     Lastly this week, be careful what you wish for. From the Boston Globe, the volunteer fire department in Cheshire, Mass., needed a new fire truck, so they applied for a grant from the Department of Homeland Security, which administers the Assistance to Firefighters Grant Program. The department got the grant: $665,962 (the good news), but they learned it can only be used to recruit and train firefighters, and specifically can't be used to purchase any equipment. The DHS says the money, which is about 26 times the department's annual budget, can be spent over a period of four years. At a population of 3,500, Cheshire is the smallest town in Massachusetts to get a fire department grant, and its grant is the largest of any given in the state. "We really needed the truck," the town's fire chief said. Sigh, I said.

     Later.